Ellipse

 "Clouds with ellipses, they come and go and come and go and fade away."

This simple verse has been stuck in my crawl for a couple of weeks. So much so that I decided to use it as the introduction to this post. I enjoy listening to music, especially the words. I like deciphering what the song means to me personally. The story being told will likely mean something completely different for each of us and that is the beauty of a well crafted composition. Do you enjoy the rhythm or do you find yourself dissecting the meaning behind the words? Both are important and I enjoy a thumping kick drum just as much as anyone else but the lyrical content is what grabs my attention the most.

During the past two month's, my penchant for negative obsessive thinking has been non existent. It is such a great feeling to be free from unnecessary worrying and the gut wrenching anxiety that followed, things that I previously experienced on a daily basis.  

I have mentioned in previous posts that I look forward to the quiet time in between when I lay down for the night and eventually falling asleep. It's a time where I can decompress. I can think freely and no one is there to pass judgement. It is a simple, non biased relationship. Nate and his thoughts. (I didn't mean to go third person on you but...) The anger I experienced a couple of months ago is all but gone. Currently, I am on a journey of healing and forgiveness. It has not been easy and on occasion, I regress a touch but it's a "three steps forward and an occasional step back" type of process.

I am growing beyond the mess that is currently circling me and it feels pretty good. Faith, family, music and writing have been the cure. I simply do not want to waste another minute of the life I was given on things that I cannot control. My main objective now is to be one hundred percent involved in my daughters life, all while giving her space. This is a tricky thing to do. I want to be around her every waking second of the day but she is a teenager and will be getting her drivers license in the near future. A whole world of possibilities will open up for her and I need to let go of all the worry that comes along with that. She is a well adjusted young lady but the dad in me will always want to protect.

I have began writing the prologue for the short story I have mentioned previously. Here and there, I will share bits and pieces for guidance. During the past week, I have been brain storming for ideas while wondering the following: How will this story be received? Will it be interesting enough? Will it be worded correctly? Is it even worth pursuing? Can I actually see it through? The answers differ from day to day and I doubt a great many things but I also do not want to quit on the journey. I have no intentions of making any money on this. I simply want to see if I can complete the task. It would be an added bonus if a couple of people would take the time to read it and, dare I dream, enjoy it.

Some of my inspiration comes in the form of dreams and some by simply watching and listening to the human condition. Observing others and their actions is something I can't help but notice. I am trying to inject my thoughts, beliefs, dreams and feelings in to the story while making it as fictional as possible. I don't want to put too much of myself within the pages but at every turn, it feels like it is following my imagined timeline of things to come. I suppose I'll just keep writing and see where it goes.

I will be traveling west for a much needed vacation so finding time to write over the next week will be difficult. I am going to make an attempt to sandwich some blog time in between golf, enjoying some craft beer and checking out local attractions. My family and I are headed to Hot Springs, AR. We frequent the area and enjoy the southern hospitality. The rat race north is tiresome. The yearly reset is always welcome.

I will leave you with a musical piece performed by Ben Folds. Mr. Folds is a personal favorite of mine and the video below contains the chorus that began this post. He is an unbelievable storyteller. 

I do hope you enjoy. 

Be well friends.