Hobbit Blogfest

There is a reason why I titled this blog The Habitual Hobbit. If you want a full break down, you can click on the "The Rub" page tab but here is the down and dirty.

I chose "Habitual" because I am obsessive/compulsive (O.C.D.) I am habitual in nature and feel more comfortable if I start and complete something that has predetermined parameters built in. Fathering a 6 year old girly girl has blown "routine" right out of the equation but I am learning to cope change and roll with the proverbial punches.

"Hobbit" was used for two reasons: 

a. I was almost always the shortest kid in class/life/etc. Not hobbit sized, just shorter.

b. I am a fan of Tolkien and L.O.T.R.

So it only makes sense, that I would join a Blog fest entitled The Hobbit Blog fest.

Said blog fest is hosted by two bloggers, M Pax and Tyrean. I don't follow either of them yet but any friend of The Hobbit, is a fan of mine. I happened across this little ditty while catching up on Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog and since I am all about using someone else's motivation these days, it just made sense for me to participate. Call it divine intervention.

The Hobbit Blog fest

What is your favorite hobbit characteristic/or the one that you think closely resembles you? 

This one is easy. Frodo "fricking" Baggins. Dude is O.C.D. all the way. Frodo and I have one thing in common. We both covet a special ring (in my case, consider my wedding ring. It has absolute power, but none of which I wield and the longer I have it, the more grumpy I get.) (Love You Beth) 

I differ from Frodo in that I dislike dancing for no reason and don no hair on my foot pieces.

If you could choose between a scrumptious second breakfast and a perilous unexpected journey – which would you prefer?

I opt for second breakfast here. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and if I partake in two of them, then I would be extra important, right? Plus, I am not into risking my life for people that I don't know that more than likely, wouldn't like me if they did know me, anyway. (I was going for a Bilbo-esque moment there.) “I like half of you half as well as I should like, and like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!” Ahh, forget it.

Have you ever left behind something on a journey (expected or unexpected) and wished you could have it over and over again? 

Again, easy. Honeymoon. Ocean. Wife's grandfathers ring. Washed away by the incoming tide. Never to be seen again. (Luckily, gram cracker had two rings and gave me the second one, along with a warning.)

What is your Favorite part or quote from the book that you hope will be in the movie?

Beorn. I was miffed when Tom Bombadil was not mentioned in The Fellowship and would be equally upset if Beorn gets no play.

There you have it. two posts in four days. Hopefully, I can keep this momentum going. 

Peace, see ya later.

Time To Ride A Coat Tail Or Two

I pray that this finds you well.

One could conclude that I have been in a funk lately, and I would agree. Things have been increasingly stressful over the past year round here and the more time that passes by, the more difficult it is becoming for me to focus on any one thing. Now, you could attribute it to O.C.D. if you want to and I would concur. Couple that with not having any luck finding employment, and you are left with a big pile o' funk.

I like the word funk.

Writing has taken a back seat. Not because I do not want to write, but because I find myself backspacing and erasing more than pushing forward and completing anything of substance. Every time that I start something, I redo the sentence structure, re-write a line or two that read wrong or just plain sounded stupid, and I do this so much that I lose the concept of the post and quit on the idea altogether. That can be completely pinned on O.C.D. and a substantial fear of putting something out there that is lousy. But, as they say in Hollywood, "put the hooker in the RV, and hit the road." So, that's what I'm gonna do.....minus the hooker.....and RV.....and Hollywood.

I have decided to ride the coattails of someone else's idea to get the creative juices rolling again. I follow a dude named Alex J. Cavanaugh and few other writers than I came across while reading his blog. He has a few books to his credit (which I haven't read yet, but plan to when I can earn some extra ends) and seems like an otherworldly cool dude, so it should not be a shock that I would pay attention to what he is doing. And he likes ninjas, guitars and Kate Beckinsale. BONUS! But any who!

Hosted by Mark “The Madman” Koopman, ”Marvelous” Morgan Shamy, Stephen “Breakthrough” Tremp, and David “Kingpin” Powers King, the Blog Fest runs from December 10 - 12. 

Some of his beloved friends have started a blog fest in his name and I figured that the best way for me to get back into the saddle, would be to post something that come with built in direction that is not that of my own. The rules seem simple enough. Sign up, answer the predetermined questions as follows, and then allow his uber awesomeness an opportunity to lube up your feel goods and make you writhe with the comfy cozy on the inside. Easy enough, huh? I know, right?

In +/- 20 words, what does Alex look like?
I imagine Alex is mysterious in formal appearance, as a shinobi shozoko is meant to hide a ninjas true identity.

In +/- 20 words, who could play Alex in a documentary? (Living or dead.)
Snake Eyes (from GI Joe fame.) Only a ninja can pull off playing a ninja. Or, maybe Chris Farley. (And that is not a knock on any weight issue, as Alex is a slender beast, I imagine. I was simply staying true to the ninja playing a ninja thing. Beverly Hills Ninja.)

In +/- 20 words, who does Alex remind you of?
Alex reminds me of myself, back when I was cool. My coolness wore off when my wife gave birth to my lovely daughter. All of my cool points were removed from me and infused into my daughter at a molecular level. Coolness stock = Plummet. The Dow Jones of cool stock can suck my left nah....thumb.

In +/- 100 words, (excluding the title) write flash fiction using all these prompts: 
Cavanaugh, Ninja, IWSG, Cosbolt & Guitar
At the Cavanaugh dojo, the ninja trains for all styles of combat. Whether it be hand to hand or sword to sword, the ninja must all ways enter a higher state of consciousness by tapping into his/her IWSG and allow the world around him/her to envelope him/her wholly. Then and only then, can one master the dual wielding guitar of fire and clash rock the cosbolt.

SNOOGANS!

For Bonus Points: 
In +/- 40 words, leave a comment for Mrs. Cavanaugh:

Mrs. Cavanaugh, thank you for putting Alex's best foot forward for him. I too, am a husband and know that behind every good man, stands an even awesomer woman. Continue doing whatever it is that you are doing. Alex has touched many lives with your hand guiding him and will continue to do so as long as he has your best interests at the forefront of his thoughts.

Contest Non Entry

Thank goodness.

The election is finally over, Facebook status's are returning to normal and I have had continued success, repelling the urge to buy products sold by Apple. Everything is right in the world.

For the record, I did vote and unfortunately, my candidate did not win. (Bill Clinton wasn't even on the ballot) Congratulations Barack. May your next four years be more productive than you're first four years. (This should not be hard, as you did not set your sights very far forward the first time around.)

Moving on.....

Does anyone know/like Al Penwasser? I cyber know him and thus far, cyber like him as well. He heads up a blog aptly titled, Penwasser Place and I urge you to click the link. Trust me, you will chuckle. 

On his blog a day or so ago, he included a link to a Resurrection Blog fest. In said blog fest, bloggers were asked to re post a post from their first year of blogging. If said post was deemed awesomer than the others by the blogfest's creator Mina Lobo at Some Dark Romantic, you could win the most awesomest prizes, ever. So, I did what any good blogger would do. I joined the fray. Now, it should be noted, I joined late, so no prizes or glory await me, but it sounded too fun to pass up. While I know I will never win, here is my re post. Enjoy.

Why Did It Have To Be Snakes ?  (August 2010)

Hello and again, thank you for stopping in. I appreciate those of you who have visited. Let's blog, shall we?

So, I have shared with you all that I have a mild case of OCD and some anxiety issues that stem from said disorder but there is more. Another quirk of mine is ophidiophobia. Does anyone know what this is? No? Okay, I will tell you.

The term uses the Greek words, ophis (snake) and phobia (fear). Put em' together and you get ophidiophobia. By definition, the word means having a fear of snakes. And yes, just thinking about it gives me the heebee jeebees. It all started when I was about twelve. Mom had just bought me a pair of adidas shelltoes. A buddy of mine and I were tossing a football around in his front yard, talking about girls and whatever else twelve year old boys talked about when I noticed something dangling from my new kicks. I thought nothing of it and passed it off as a piece of green electrical tape that I had been using minutes prior.

 Now, I know what you are probably thinking. How do you not see a snake latched onto your shoe? 

In my defense, I was twelve. Unidentifiable objects sticking to my shoes was commonplace. It was only when that darn piece of "tape" started to move that I looked down to find a garter snake having it's way with my shoe. Moms used to get so mad at me because I never tied my shoelaces. It wasn't the cool thing to do. Looking back now, I am happy, in this instance, that I disobeyed my moms ultimatem to tie my shoes. If they were tied, I would have been seen running up and down the street screaming like a little girl with a snake stuck to my shoe. With the fatties untied, I was able to jump out of my shoes, literally. 

After a few minutes and a few puncture marks, the snake surrendered my shoe and slithered away under a bush. Ordeal over. And now, here we are. I lived to tell of my harrowing experience and the collateral damage that I endure now, in the aftermath.

Black Mamba

The Black Mamba, or "dendroaspis polylepis" for all you snake loving dorks, is widely recognized by many, as the deadliest snake to inhabit our fine planet. The Black Mamba can only be found in southeastern Africa.  (Thank the Lord) It's venom is a combination neurotoxin/cardiotoxin and can kill a full grown human in approximately twenty minutes. There is an antivenin but you better be close to the local Redi-med, as the venom works quickly, causing paralasys of the muscles that in turn, send the heart into cardiac arrest. It's head is shaped like a coffin (you don't say) and when threatened, will flatten out it's hood (ala King Cobra) while raising it's upper body off the ground some 3-4 feet (chest high). Awesome, huh? The fatality rate for a Mamba bite is 95%, as most bites occur in remote areas where treatment cannot be administered quickly enough.

Mozambique "Spitting" Cobra

The Mozambique Spitting Cobra is arguably the second deadliest snake in the world. As it's name would inquire, this snake can attack from a distance of up to 8 feet, by spitting venom into the victims eyes to cause partial blindness and disorientation until the the kill strike can be administered via, sharp hooked fang. Talk about adding injury to insult. If by chance, you happen by a Mozambique and take it by surprise, it will feign death, just long enough for you to walk past it, where it then will strike an unsuspecting target from behind.

Shifty little bastard.

Green Anaconda

The Green Anaconda or, again for the dorks, "eunectes murinus", is on average, the largest species of snake in the world, having been known to tip the "scales" at 550 pounds. It should be noted that most are not quite that large. I however, try not to shed too much light on the "positive attributes" of snakes. The Green is the largest of the Anaconda family. They inhabit swampy area's in South America. Their diet consists of mainly birds, pigs and jaguars. What? Jaguars? Okay, it is not a staple in the anaconda's diet but witnesses can attest to seeing the Green attack, kill and engulf an entire jaguar. Anaconda are not venomous, as they kill by squeezing the life out of their victim. They have over 100 angled teeth and a fully detachable jaw. Both characteristics enable the Green Anaconda to swallow human sized snacks whole, and with ease. 

 Now that I think about it, NE Indiana is not all that bad. I think I'll stick around here for the rest of my life.

Happy Halloween Eve

World, meet Clarice.
Clarice, say hello.....and be cordial, you evil little troll.

"Hello. You all look so.....so delicious."

Clarice here, was purchased for my daughter by my adoring sister, and while it is not yet known which store she was purchased from, I imagine that it was a little store off of the beaten path, a few miles north of HELL!

See, Clarice is diabolically "human looking" for a doll and as one may have guessed, creeps me the hell out. Maybe it stems from a scarred child hood, where I grew up being the youngest of three (Two older sisters, mind you.) and staying alive was a daily struggle. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because I watched Child's Play while I was still too young to handle such evil. But regardless of the exact origin of said fear, it is apparent that it still resides down deep in my psyche.

I must mention that, while Clarice is by far the most creepy doll "living" in our humble dwelling, she is not the only one. There are several Satan-born hell spawn running rampant in our home. Usually it is not a big deal, as my daughter is five years old and has the attention span of a rock, so it is easy to systematically remove the evil from the premises, but Clarice may have some staying power.

Over time, I have learned to live with Clarice and share our space cordially with her. For instance, we have some things in common with one another.

She absolutely hates Dora and wishes nothing less than for her to die a long and agonizing death at the hands of an extra terrestrial life form.

She is a gamer and really gets into it. Her favorite game is Call of Duty: Black Ops Zombies.

She is not all that good at it, as she prefers to watch the Zombies gnaw on  the games protagonist.

We both enjoy beef brisket.

"I said I wanted it RAW.....off the bone.....of a HUMAN."

Another thing we have in common is my disdain for snakes. It should be noted that, while I think that snakes are evildoers and deserve nothing less than death, she thinks that they are annoying but that, they make a good appetizer. Just before the main course, she gets pleasure from eating live snakes.....tail first.....so that, as she is working her way up the the head, they must bare the lions share worth of pain and then, feel the end surround them as she crunches down upon the cranium with the final and fatal bite. She has shared with me that they are extra tasty if they fight their inevitable demise by striking her plastic face repeatedly with venomous strikes. I simply agree.....Out of fear.

Having a live in psycho doll is not all guns and roses though.

She hogs the computer by watching week long marathons of "Faces of Death"

She gets miffed come Sunday and questions my motives for going to church.

And there was that one time that, while I was taking a shower, I opened the curtain to find her standing outside of the tub with a toaster that had found it's way from the kitchen, all the way to the bathroom, while still plugged in. Later she would come to admit that she had planned on making toast while talking a deuce and simply, "did not think the ramifications through."

Ever since then, I must admit that it has been a somewhat, odd relationship between us.

"The time is nigh. Come, venture to the side of darkness and pillage to your hearts content."

You Want My Vote?

I loathe the word politics.

I should begin by admitting to you that, when it comes to politics, I am not the proverbial “go to source” for information in the arena of political sciences. Anything that is said from here on out is completely my own opinion/observation, has been crafted for fun and should be taken as such. 

I would not classify myself as a staunch supporter of the Republican, Democratic or Independent parties and when it comes to my vote, you would likely have more success forecasting the weather than you would guessing who it is that I am voting for. In the past, I have voted for nominees across the board. The election of 1992 was the first election that I was able to register for and I voted for Bill Clinton (D). Yes, he banged an intern and no, it did not bother me. I was young then and if I were in said position, I may have done the same thing. I would like to think that I would have picked a more attractive intern to invite into the o-o-o-o-oval office for a one on one but I digress. I did question his character after the scandal but when it was all said and done, he did what he was elected to do. Run the country and avoid sinking it like the Titanic, while assisting the world abroad when needed.  In 1996, I voted for Ross Perot (I). When R.P. ran, we were all worried about the economy and the little weasel had the credentials to fix it, or so it seemed. Combine that with his “take care of business” attitude and southern twang and BAM, hook, line and stinker. Some would say that I wasted my vote but to you, I say, it was my vote. It was my vote and I wasted it as I saw fit, so deal with it. As we all know, Bill Clinton ended up winning but I was not bothered by that, as he did a commendable job during his first term. In 2000 and 2004, I voted for G-Dub (R) by default, as I did not think that Gore or Kerry could run a day care, let alone an entire country. Even though I did place my vote, I did so questioning my decision for the next four years. At that point in my life, I felt that it was my obligation to the country to cast a vote, even if I did not like any of the candidates. That would change over the course of Dub’s second term, as I would come to question a good majority of what he was doing while in office and in turn, why I voted for him in the first place. In 2008, I did not register to vote and had no real will to do so. I blame it on the skyrocketing gas prices and a day long turtle head that was poking out on account of consuming some bad Taco Bell the evening prior to election day. Looking back, if a gun was put to my head, I would have voted for *McCain.

Fast forward four years. Barack Obama is once again pining for your vote, as is his opponent; Mitt Romney. And again, I find myself wondering which nominee will do the least amount of damage. It’s pretty pathetic really, when one looks around and comes to the conclusion that these are the best candidates for the job. Pretty much anyone else would get serious consideration from me, granted he/she could count to one hundred by ten and act somewhat human.

Barack Obama is engaging. He is well spoken and says what many people want to hear. I question his motives as well as his ability to DO what he says he’s WANTS TO DO, but whatever. I hear him talking a lot but I don’t see him doing a lot. I want to like him but, he smells of dirty rat.

Mitt Romney just oozes douche bag. Everything that I have heard him say seems rehearsed and arrogant. He holds himself on a very high pedestal while speaking to us, the little people, and it drives me bonkers. I find it difficult for me to watch him on T.V. for more than two minutes without wanting to gouge my own eyes out with a spork.

Thus far, I am undecided. Each candidate has his moments but they are far and few between. I'm thinking that I may throw my vote toward the Constitution Party candidate, Virgil Goode. (Yes, there is such a party and Virgil is an actual candidate.) Why, you ask? Well, duh. For no other reason than to truly, be able to say, "I told you so!" It's either that or another trip to Taco Bell will be in my near future.

*Old people make the most sense when speaking on issues because they hold more life experience over that of a younger person. I.M.H.O., experience always trumps savvy, always.