Inroduction

Hello and thanks for stopping by The Habitual Hobbit.

Approximately ten years ago, I started this blog to use as an outlet for some things that I was experiencing. I needed to "unload" some thoughts constructively. It began as a way to educate people of the throws of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and the fight that I experienced on a daily basis. The anxiety caused by obsessive thoughts was overwhelming and I found this blog to be an effective tool to overcome the difficulties associated with intrusive thinking. Over time, people started paying attention and they kept coming back on a regular basis. They commented on the material and after a little while, I gained a small following and I was being invited to guest post on their personal blogs. I began entering challenges, doing blog hops and engrossing myself into writing. I shared my struggles, as well as my conquests. I began to feel appreciated by people outside of my little circle of family and friends and it was a blast.

But like most things, blogging lost it's luster. I felt that I was running out of ideas and at some point, I lost my way and stopped posting.

I am once again going through major life changes. Things seemed to be crumbling around me and I was powerless. The OCD was being held at bay but the anxiety was still killing me. Medicated and numb to the world, I dove inward. I stopped putting myself out there because I was afraid to make a mistake. I was afraid to lose the things that I so desperately thought that I needed. It became unbearable. I let go of the only outlet I felt that I had and the thoughts were still swirling. The only thing that kept me from complete self destruction was my beautiful baby girl. Nothing else mattered to me but even that was not enough to motivate me to crawl out the depression.

"Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality." - Nikos Kazantzakis

It's funny how life changes in an instant.

Now, I am back yet again and I come armed with more resolve. I want to gain back what I once had and begin a new chapter. I want to share my story again. I am burning with a new found zest for life and I am seeing colors vividly, where before, I saw only shades of black and gray. I need to vent and this is where I do it. For all who care to read it, you can experience it with me and I will always be thankful for your input and attention.

A couple things you must know about me. I am a self admitting, music snob. Listening to music allows for sufficient release during every day life. I lean on it during times of flux. I allow myself to drown in it. The more thought provoking the lyrical content, the more I enjoy it. I am a thinker. I process an over abundance of thoughts on a daily basis and the words just mean more when they strike a nerve. Music, like writing is meant to move you. Song will be a part of almost every post. It may end the post and most likely will directly relate to the content of the piece. But on occasion, I will share something for no reason. Something I came across by accident or maybe, it will be something that was introduced to me from an outside source. One thing is certain, I will incorporate it in writing as I do in life.

I am a quote junkie. I scour the internet for those little pearls of wisdom left behind for all of us to use as inspiration. Some are old and well known while some are more obscure. They all have meaning and they all have power to encourage if you open yourself up completely to what is trying to be conveyed.

I am not a "hello darkness, my old friend." type of guy. Recent events have put things in perspective for me and I wanted to share. I have an extremely odd since of humor and that side of me will come out soon enough. I am just trying to catch my breath. After all, this blog is intended to shed light on a couple aspects of mental illness and my journey conquering it. You will get a lot of me, good and bad. Just hope you see the real guy stroking the keys before a decision is made on future visits.

I hope to gain what I had lost so many years ago and would enjoy your company if you feel inclined to stick around. I do hope you enjoy.