Wednesday, July 31, 2013

This Is The End

Question 29 - What Is The Last Thing You Bought Yourself?
Oh, I guess it would a video game, Call of Duty, Black Ops 2. I have gotten loads of enjoyment filling noobs with cyber lead and shiving endless hoards of zombies. I get my money's worth, that's for sure. 

Question 30 - What Is One Thing You Cannot Live Without In the Kitchen?
My wife. 
Before you get all, "you are such a chauvinist" on me, let me explain. I cannot cook, so if it were not for my wife, I would be eating very little and whatever I did manage to prepare, would be easily digested by a Sasquatch but not a human. (Hee, hee, I said Sasquatch.) I am no Papa John and I know it. My culinary resume is scant. P-B-J, frozen pizza and string cheese. That's it. Done and dead.

Question 31 - Who is one person that you would want to spend a day with and why?
This list is cluttered with possible candidates. Jesus would be tops on the list but my puny, fragile eggshell mind would not be able comprehend what He would have to say. My head would pop off and the world would be drowned by a flood of confetti. Well, that is, unless you engineered an ark, then you would probably be okay, but I don't want to be held responsible for triggering the prophesied apocalypse so I will wait until the day that I go home to pick the brain of the Son of Man.
After all of that, the question still remains unanswered. I will have already had my fifteen minutes with Milla Jojovich, so I have to come up with someone else. Hmm.
Maybe Tom Brady. Never mind the fact that I don't like him very much. We could chat about Michigan vs. Ohio State while Gisele cooked us up some deep fried Twinkies.

So, there you have it. Challenge completed.
Thanks to Paula for kicking this shindig off and allowing me to take part. I hope that you enjoyed my answers.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Wrapping It Up

Question 23 - What is your favorite part of the day and why?
My favorite part of the day is 9:00 a.m. when I clock in for work. NOT!!!!!
In all seriousness, I have a favorite part of the day but it's seasonal. During the school year, it's when I pick up my little girl from day care. When I arrive, she runs out of the building in a mad dash to give me a hug and while we are homeward bound, she tells me about her day, as only a six year old can. 

Question 24 - Who was your childhood celebrity crush?
I do not remember having a crush on any celebrity growing up. I was fond of Topanga from The Wonder Years but I wasn't madly in love with her. I concentrated on sports and had little time for girls. My biggest crush was on a girl named Lani that lived down the street from me. I would have picked her over any celebrity.

Question 25 - What was your favorite childhood book?
Where The Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls
I read this book at least twenty times from the beginning of my fourth grade year to the end of my sixth grade year and I teared up every time.

Question - 26 - Post a picture of something yellow.
This one is going to sting, but my sisters will get a kick out of it and I imagine you, the little people will also. I shall preface this by admitting that I was only three or so, and it was damn comfortable.

Question 27 - Do you own a smart phone? Tell us why you love it.
Yes, I own a smart phone, a Kyocera Event. I like it but don't need it. I am a simple dude and I mostly use it for placing calls and streaming Slacker Radio while on my daily commute. I use if for little else.

Question 28 - What is your best vacation memory?
Stepping off of the plane for my wife and I's honeymoon. Being a city boy that had never traveled very far from home, made stepping into the Dominican Republic, sea drenched air something of legend. It was clean and smog free. It just reeked of pureness. I'll never forget it and I hope to be there again someday. Oh, and the honeymooning wasn't bad either. BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!!!!

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Another Batch

Question 11 - What is the worst injury you have ever had? 
If you discount the ball cart to head incident as described previously for Question 14, I have led a fairly unscathed life. Now that I have said that, I will probably get mowed down by an airplane or mowed down by a rabid pack of jackelopes. I have been struck by a bottle rocket or two but there were never any physical scars left from that idiocy. Only trace amounts of mental anguish linger presently because I willfully participated in events that made it permissible for one to fire explosives at me in an attempt at fitting in with "the guys." I played soccer for twenty-plus years and while never having been diagnosed with sustaining broken toes, I am sure that I have. I will not show you so don't ask, but I describe my feet as being "Gremlin-ish" in nature. I am not a gremlin but if you dump New Castle down my throat after midnight, I multiply. Don't believe me? Ask my wife.

Question 18 - Show us a picture of something you own that is embarrassing! Clothes, furniture, car, etc.

Cleveland Browns, Tim Couch Jersey. I still have it, and I still wear it. Fact is, Tim Couch doesn't play for the Browns any longer, and hasn't since 2002'ish. I get harassed often. Don't worry Tim, I got your back!!!!

Question 20 - Write about the worst or best date you have ever been on.
I myself, have never been on a bad date but I'd imagine that (said) date would answer this question differently. Besides, I do not consider one night stands as being bad dates. They are more like, mistakes with perks. I have been on a few good dates, the latest being some eleven years ago and it is still going strong.

Question 21 - What are your thoughts on how the media portrays body image for young girls.
Being that I am a father to a six year old, beautiful little girl, I see this more clearly now, than I ever have in the past. Do I think that it is gross? Hell yes. My wife and I spent an inordinate amount of time reassuring our daughter that she is beautiful just the way she is. I would bitch slap any one of the "fathers" that allow their daughters to participate is shows like "Toddlers and Tiaras." You guys are douche bags. This brings to mind, the immortal words of Pos from De La Soul, "You are not even a man, so I don't deem it mandatory taking your pride."

Question 22 - What are 5 of your biggest pet peeves?
A. The news media. I cannot tell you how much disdain I hold for the news media. It is unhealthy, to be kind.
B. Crappy drivers. Some people should simply, not have a license to operate motorized vehicles, PERIOD. There are tens of thousands of cars on the road each day. It is my estimation that twenty percent of those cars are driven by to-do-well human beings. The remaining eighty percent of automobiles are being operated by want-to-be NASCAR drivers and teenagers that still believe that they are driving a go-cart around the col-de-sac.
C. Extremists of any kind. As people, we have the right to believe or disbelieve in things but when you begin taking up arms or arguing your believe in a malicious manner, you have gone too far. I do not have the right to tell someone that he/she is living life wrongly. It would be based solely on mine own opinion and mine own opinion may not work for someone else's circumstances or life view. I will share if asked to, but will normally opt to back away and keep what is mine, mine.
D. I would normally include snakes in this discussion but the enormous amount of spite that I hold for the devil spawn has already been established and well documented. I do not want to beat a dead horse. 
Okay, so I included snakes anyway. Sue me! Wait, I take that back. In today's climate, you could probably sue me and get something out of it.
E. When someone is asked to share their "5" biggest pet peeves and they answer using "A.B.C.D and E."

Friday, July 19, 2013

My Head Is Spinning

I'll admit up front that my head is spinning. I haven't blogged this much for a while.

July 6, 2013 - If you could spend 15 minutes with any celebrity, who would it be and why?

I've been asked this before and normally, my answer would be Jim Morrison from The Doors.
But with growth comes a change of heart, a change of mind and in my case, a sense of humor so my answer is a bit different now-a-days.

Milla Jojovich

I could woo her in 15 minutes, guaranteed. My wife, daughter, Milla and I could move to Utah and become Mormons. I would sell plasma (I am O positive) and work 80 hours a week at Home Depot if I could make this happen. 

Question 7 - If you could live in any time period in the past, what would it be and why?

The 60's and 70's. The drugs, the music, the drugs???? What's NOT to like?

Question 8 - How will my life be different in 5 years? 

Well, if I am not dead, I will be older, I imagine. Maybe a tad smarter, but probably not. I can see myself living somewhere warmer and somewhere that has a better job market. Anywhere has to be better than where I currently reside. Hell, the underworld has more job prospects than Indiana right now. None of this really matters, because if things were to work out the way I want them to, I'll be in Utah, DIG?????

Question 9 - What is your food philosophy?

I like food, and I eat it. My philosophy?? Pile that shit on my plate. I'll be back for round two in ten!!!!

Question 17 - Tell us 7 things about yourself?

1. I am an ophidiophobe.
That is a really intelligent way of saying I am deathly afraid of snakes. I see a snake, I poop my pants, plain and simple. (unless I'm drinking, then I chase them and try to shiv them.) Snakes are on this fine planet for two things, tricking do-gooders into eating forbidden fruit and killing stuff. Neither of which, I am all that into.

2. I love soccer. I played it for twenty plus years and get all patriotic during The World Cup. if I can't watch games on the tele, I listen to them in their entirety on the radio. Ole, ole, ole, ole, USA.

3. I collect Matchbox cars. Check that, I collect Volkswagen Matchbox cars. Twenty and counting.

4. While eating french fries, I put them in groups, according to length. It is hard for me to digest two french fries that are not of equal size. I have done this for the majority of life but was never called on it until my wife noticed it a few years back. Are you sure you want to continue down this road???????

5. I'm a gamer. PlayStation 3. I love shooting cyber people repeatedly and I must admit, I am pretty crafty when it comes to offing entire hoards of zombies.

6. I have not seen The Shining in it's entirety. I first began watching The Shining when I was 8. I sneaked downstairs while my parents were watching it one night but was unable to continue. It has been hard for me to watch anything starring Jack Nicholson since. Effing creepy old dude scares the crap right out of me, still to this day.

7. I have "Rain man" like abilities. I can go to a grocery store and by the end of the visit, know (to the penny, with tax) how much I have spent before I check out. My wife didn't believe me so she tested me. I was only eighteen cents off. And she even tried to sneak stuff in while I wasn't looking. She rewed that day, I tell you, REWED.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

July 4th & July 16, 2013

July 4, 2013

If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?
The news media.
I am not a fan, whatsoever.
My contempt for the news media began during the coverage of the O.J. Simpson trial and has increased exponentially since then.

July 16, 2013

What is one thing that you have never done that you think most people have?
Eaten sushi.
The thought of eating raw fish makes my nuggets head north for the winter.

See you tomorrow.