tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75182082655801742502024-03-27T19:54:14.447-04:00Habitual Hobbitibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-29907564161812630412024-03-20T14:06:00.000-04:002024-03-20T14:06:28.222-04:00A to Z Challenge 2024, Theme Reveal<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7jmexxUogi9JW2856S2lXftaOBggTCv3ETL7BBL0B0jebq2u65k_JM1oV7b3Ua8_ZDHHg7MQ3-CWQiXMSYQ-H_WQGQ-_joLy-C6YRHLuu_c8gTP-JdEIPpPiFfXe0sytTf4teLQ0VODpOuPNip93mmXNGPflLMYf4jZIDH1PL8-1fkjFBuFkrGeb0Kos/s320/2024%20Theme%20Reveal.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="180" data-original-width="320" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7jmexxUogi9JW2856S2lXftaOBggTCv3ETL7BBL0B0jebq2u65k_JM1oV7b3Ua8_ZDHHg7MQ3-CWQiXMSYQ-H_WQGQ-_joLy-C6YRHLuu_c8gTP-JdEIPpPiFfXe0sytTf4teLQ0VODpOuPNip93mmXNGPflLMYf4jZIDH1PL8-1fkjFBuFkrGeb0Kos/s1600/2024%20Theme%20Reveal.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p style="text-align: center;">I know it's a couple of days late but late is better than never!</p><p style="text-align: center;">I'll begin by introducing myself and by providing a brief summation of my story.</p><p style="text-align: center;">My name is Nate, also known as ib (Idiot Box).</p><p style="text-align: center;">Circa 2012, this blog was created to shed light on the negative stigma of mental illness and my struggles with obsessive thinking and anxiety. I had posted regularly for approximately two/three years but lost my way. After a long hiatus, I returned to the scene and started dumping my baggage on this site for the world to see, yet again. Previously, I posted on others' blogs as a guest and took part in several hops and challenges. One challenge that I enjoyed back then was the A to Z Challenge. After so many years of being silent and after enduring some major life changes, I decided to enter the fray again. Upon my return, I realized that I enjoy writing and even more so, I enjoy being involved with other creatives and offering up support when they are experiencing their own trials and tribulations. So, here I am. Free of obsessive thinking and anxiety and ready for what's to come.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I have completely removed all of the older material and redesigned the page to incorporate a fresh start.</p><p style="text-align: center;">My theme for 2024 is admittingly different and will be entitled "<b><i><u>An </u></i></b><i><b><u>Idiot's Guide to Randomness</u></b></i>".</p><p style="text-align: center;">Currently, life is busy and even after two months of brainstorming, I couldn't nail down a theme for the 2024 A to Z Challenge on my own, so I took to Google. (I don't put stock in AI but needed help and Google is always right, RIGHT?) After sifting through several possibilities, I found that there wasn't one that I would be able to commit twenty-six posts to in the span of one month so instead of waiting for inspiration, I made an executive decision and will let chance decide.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Enter <a href="https://randomwordgenerator.com/">Random Word Generator</a>!</p><p style="text-align: center;">For each letter of the alphabet, I will generate five words and from those, choose the juiciest one supplied and post something pertaining to it. I may tell a related personal story or a completely random something or other but THERE WILL BE A POST!</p><p style="text-align: center;">Let the shenanigans begin!</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-17769089020251945092024-03-19T22:26:00.000-04:002024-03-19T22:26:15.340-04:00It's More Fun To Believe<p style="text-align: center;">I'm a bit late in posting this so I apologize. Let's get right to it! </p><p style="text-align: center;">As a child, I simply could not grasp the vastness of the earth and the billions of living organisms dwelling on it. This inability to wrap my mind around these simple facts planted a seed in the deep recesses of my thinking. How many things are still out there that we have not yet found and is it possible that some of the tales regarding cryptids and mythological creatures are true? And even if they are difficult to believe in, isn't it fun to allow the mind to escape and imagine the possibilities?</p><p style="text-align: center;">Vampires have long been my favorite mythological creature. I have watched movies, read books and even watched anime with vampiric story lines but along the way, I have found other cryptids to be enjoyable to learn of as well. Everybody has heard the tale of Nessie, a dinosaur sized lake monster of Scottish folk lore roaming "mostly" undetected in Loch Ness. Or, maybe you fancy a "goat sucker", also known as a Chupacabra. Whatever your flavor is, there are enough to go around but let's dive in to one that I have recently found interesting!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikEGiCnZ3WMJ8uEyTffEUzdg31KA-OOHqBbi18J3lk3TKZVNBFpZ5ZrR99olucxJM9DW93xZOTll-rJtw9ZjlKuK9dAf0XSAlCzkgAWn-5fEwg60WymGoq7ChpAFspfOdet7QdcQ3D885m627Vhrjn9n265hi8b6dW0SwEKbMWqGI6JYK8C9Hb2oFlMCQ/s1024/Mothman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="657" data-original-width="1024" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikEGiCnZ3WMJ8uEyTffEUzdg31KA-OOHqBbi18J3lk3TKZVNBFpZ5ZrR99olucxJM9DW93xZOTll-rJtw9ZjlKuK9dAf0XSAlCzkgAWn-5fEwg60WymGoq7ChpAFspfOdet7QdcQ3D885m627Vhrjn9n265hi8b6dW0SwEKbMWqGI6JYK8C9Hb2oFlMCQ/s320/Mothman.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Mothman</i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;">My interest in Mothman began not long ago, after watching the movie, The Mothman Prophecies, starring Richard Gere. Before the viewing, I had heard bits and pieces of the legend but had never taken the time to research it's origin.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Estimated to stand in excess of seven feet tall and display a wingspan of approximately ten feet wide, Mothman is said to be covered by dark gray or white fur covering a muscular build, an oddly shaped head, hypnotic red eyes and bird like in appearance. Some sightings suggest that while in flight, Mothman is able to maneuver through wooded areas at high speed.</p><p style="text-align: center;">The first known sighting of Mothman in the United States is said to have been reported in Point Pleasant, WV in the mid 1960's. It's origin and existence has been debated heavily since with possible sightings ranging from Chicago, IL to Argentina.</p><p style="text-align: center;">The Shawnee Tribe, who once inhabited the region now known as West Virginia, spoke of stories referring to the "Winged Man". It's presence brought impending despair and doom. It is said that when Mothman is near, the feeling of unease and fear overwhelms those in it's presence.</p><p style="text-align: center;">In December, 1967, The Silver Bridge, connecting Point Pleasant to the Ohio boarder, collapsed, killing forty-six people. It is believed that Mothman was responsible for the tragedy but there are some that believe the creature was present to warn of the upcoming disaster.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Several sightings in Point Pleasant have been recorded but there is also no hard evidence of it's existence. </p><p style="text-align: center;">Besides the movie mentioned above, there are several articles and books written on the Mothman phenomena. I recommend starting with the entry on Wikipedia.</p><p style="text-align: center;">While we are on the subject of cryptids and mythical creatures, have you heard of the Wendigo?</p><p style="text-align: center;">If not, please allow me to share the name of one who can touch on the subject, Author Shannon Lawrence. I have been given an opportunity to spread the word regarding her upcoming release, <b><i>Myth Stalker: Wendigo Nights</i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgubsiz4OtRZ2n-KzdVYZWNRLd2DZI1R21Ob1NbN66oZA44oaEhv3R2wMkyZVMirQd5ONHw6Y-fGqTKvOe7plXTd06gjmCUqpRkvhgH5S2idFztZJHECmndSmY693mlk-wrzAmysFq-R-3ZhFkIcgCjqOD7UwlnyDUTVlLI7MRwI9Eg_QlYhToP406Auo/s2775/Wendigo%20Nights%20Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2775" data-original-width="1843" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgubsiz4OtRZ2n-KzdVYZWNRLd2DZI1R21Ob1NbN66oZA44oaEhv3R2wMkyZVMirQd5ONHw6Y-fGqTKvOe7plXTd06gjmCUqpRkvhgH5S2idFztZJHECmndSmY693mlk-wrzAmysFq-R-3ZhFkIcgCjqOD7UwlnyDUTVlLI7MRwI9Eg_QlYhToP406Auo/s320/Wendigo%20Nights%20Cover.jpg" width="213" /></a></b></div><i><p style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></p>A late night call from her mentor sends Selina Moonstone on a mission to Canada, determined </i><i>to track down a Wendigo and exterminate it.</i><p></p><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Accustomed to facing off with the all too real creatures of Native American lore, Selina<br />discovers the Wendigo is someone close to her, forcing her to change gears from destruction to<br />frantic search for a cure. There's no known way to rid a person of the Wendigo spirit once it has<br />begun the consumption of the victim's soul, a lesson she learned the hard way in her youth.<br />With her loved one's transition to Wendigo imminent, Selina must fight her own lifelong<br />training as a Myth Stalker and find another way. She gathers a mismatched group of allies,<br />including a charming Sin Eater and a conceited mercenary Cryptid hunter from her past, and<br />embarks on a mission to find a solution before it's too late.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-style: italic;">Myth Stalker: Wendigo Nights </b>will be released on March 26, 2024 in paperback and e-book on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo and more at <a href="https://books2read.com/u/4AaOJd">https://books2read.com/u/4AaOJd</a></div><p style="text-align: center;"> To find out more about Shannon's release and other interests, visit <a href="http://www.thewarriormuse.com">The Warrior Muse</a>.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Thanks for stopping by the Hobbit. Please join me in supporting Shannon in the hard earned release.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-52738775453613393092024-03-06T14:49:00.003-05:002024-03-11T09:05:58.393-04:00Insecure Writers Support Group - March 6, 2024<p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8nIHzb59Lg84XoUFf5TcvHjxAF7giZ41ww01KMTuKIcvVCLudpyqegjckOABtaNmch-KAp9HRGsyifWgQbhcZ9-RhcFPekn6fq2njlOWp-Os-AWcAAFTF_5HM519_Of2vgaXg9oLLy5YHGQivp1kiCd8OUHsRi_cZgGjrMZjCc-uCwQp8Ic_Z_d7tNDY/s932/IWSG%20Badge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="918" data-original-width="932" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8nIHzb59Lg84XoUFf5TcvHjxAF7giZ41ww01KMTuKIcvVCLudpyqegjckOABtaNmch-KAp9HRGsyifWgQbhcZ9-RhcFPekn6fq2njlOWp-Os-AWcAAFTF_5HM519_Of2vgaXg9oLLy5YHGQivp1kiCd8OUHsRi_cZgGjrMZjCc-uCwQp8Ic_Z_d7tNDY/s320/IWSG%20Badge.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"> March? Really?</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's the first Wednesday of the month and only the lucky few know what that means!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>INSECURE WRITERS SUPPORT GROUP DAY! YAY!</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><br /></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/">IWSG</a> was created to provide a safe haven for writers to air their concerns and fears without appearing foolish or weak. All skill levels are welcome, from published authors to those like myself, that enjoy creating but have not acquired the courage to release their work to the masses.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">A big thank you to <a href="https://www.alexjcavanaugh.com/">Alex J. Cavanaugh</a> is in order. He created this group long ago and has continued to support writer's in their quest to achieve writing success, no matter how big or small.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I would also like to thank the awesome co-hosts for this months addition.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://kristinaseyes.com/">Kristina Kelly</a>, <a href="https://miffieseideman.com/">Miffie Seideman</a>, <a href="https://jeanddavis.blogspot.com/">Jean Davis</a> and <a href="https://middlepassages-lcs.blogspot.com/">Liza @ Middle Passages</a>.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Each month, a question is presented to the group and those that don't mind answering provide insight on the topic being addressed. Answering the question is always optional.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Today's question: Have you "played" with AI to write those nasty synopses or do you refuse to go that route? How do you feel about AI's impact on creative writing?</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;">Back in October 2023, a similar question was asked on the topic of AI. My answer has not changed but if you would like, you can travel back in time to <a href="https://habitualhobbit.blogspot.com/2023/10/insecure-writers-support-group-october.html">here</a>!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you get tired of the droning, feel free to skim through this or abandon it altogether. I completely understand.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I do not like the idea of substituting human thinking with artificial intelligence. We have become so horribly dependent on technology in society, as a whole, that we have abandoned the need to perform basic skills. I do not mean to downplay the importance of the internet and advancements in technology, but do not want to think about a future where our ability to create is replaced by something artificial. I can see how AI might assist in sparking an idea if you are in throws of a brain fart and cannot conjure up an idea naturally, but in order to complete a work, it should always include good old fashioned brain power and human emotion. At birth, we were given the innate ability to think and create using our minds. Science tells us that we only use ten percent of our brain on average. Imagine the possibilities if we were able to increase that percentage by only five percent. The internet was created by the human mind and almost all other advancements throughout history were as well.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I should probably tinker around with AI to be more informed but I don't wanna!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the BLUE pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><u>You take the RED pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes</u>!"</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thank you Morpheus, RED pill please!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">P.S...You will see a of months worth of posts in April if you venture back.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I am going to participate in the <a href="http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/">A to Z Challenge</a>, which was created by <a href="http://tossingitout.blogspot.com/">Arlee Bird</a> long ago. I'll be entering the fray for the first time in years. If you haven't already, click the link and join. It's a blast!</div><div style="text-align: center;">This years theme will be revealed on March 10, 2024. I hope to see you all there.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-29382470495634288102024-02-07T10:29:00.004-05:002024-02-07T10:29:42.067-05:00Insecure Writer's Support Group - February 7, 2024<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;"><b></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgWK9Dds2tdeIy_M1rC9VmlqDIEEj9afyZvGW2PZ2EZjIrpgxgVUtk_45u6CWLUJAEBeBUstC4bx7zgm2WW96UCQSUvjEANplQqnHzp0hWItAmX5m-n-ly61ytgiG9o0UeBwHyufSMe8KqjHp74rkZnRSSn5jMsoj7E3g1Vdlt0gCHz8NgDNJTYq7OyG4c" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="918" data-original-width="932" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgWK9Dds2tdeIy_M1rC9VmlqDIEEj9afyZvGW2PZ2EZjIrpgxgVUtk_45u6CWLUJAEBeBUstC4bx7zgm2WW96UCQSUvjEANplQqnHzp0hWItAmX5m-n-ly61ytgiG9o0UeBwHyufSMe8KqjHp74rkZnRSSn5jMsoj7E3g1Vdlt0gCHz8NgDNJTYq7OyG4c" width="244" /></a></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></div><p style="text-align: center;">The first Wednesday of every month should, in my humble opinion, be enacted as a federal holiday. Why, might you ask? Because it is "<a href="https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/">Insecure Writer's Support Group</a>" day! On this day, writers of every level, published or not, can air their concerns, fears and doubts in a space that fosters support and helpful tips without the feeling of embarrassment or humiliation. If you haven't already, visit the sign in page <a href="https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/p/iwsg-sign-up.html">here</a> and join the group.</p><p style="text-align: center;">As always, I will begin by thanking it's creator, o' ninja captain, my ninja captain, <a href="https://www.alexjcavanaugh.com/">Mr. Alex Cavanaugh</a>.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I must also not forget to mention the February 7 co-hosts, <a href="https://janetalcorn.com/">Janet Alcorn</a>, <a href="https://sewhitebooks.com/">SE White</a>, <a href="https://www.victoriamarielees.com/">Victoria Marie Lees</a> and <a href="https://cathrinaconstantine.blogspot.com/">Cathrina Constantine</a>.</p><p style="text-align: center;">And with that, "<i>Let's Rock The Neurotic Writing World</i>!"</p><p style="text-align: center;">I'll start by admitting that I haven't posted in a couple of months but it was a planned break. I'll touch on the reason for my absence soon. A post is already in the works, just not completed.</p><b>Today's Question: What turns you off when visiting an authors website/blog? Lack of information? A drone of negativity? Little mention of the authors books? Constant mention of books?</b><p></p><p style="text-align: center;">I must admit, I didn't know how to answer this question at first. I have not visited any authors personal sites until rejoining this group. The few that I have accessed are owned by those that contribute here. I enjoy hearing news on releases, the successes of each individual and to have the opportunity to provide support when I feel that I have something positive to add. I am inexperienced (an amateur's amateur, really) at best regarding anything related to literature and do not have the experience/knowledge to critique another's space or work. I do not like leaving negative reviews in any capacity so normally, I will only comment if it is positive and well intended. One thing that I do not like is an over abundance of pop ups and ads. I get that some use this medium to generate revenue but the constant flashing and ill timed pop up advertising "testosterone cream" is a bit annoying. I also would not enjoy unneeded and derogatory comments regarding my work. I put a lot of myself in to these posts and doubt I'd take kindly to being badgered because of the content. I have not experienced this yet but if I climb the mountain and publish something, I will no doubt receive criticism. I am already worried about my short stories subject matter and do not doubt that it will ruffle some feathers.</p><p style="text-align: center;">It feels good to contribute to this group and hope that I can continue. I plan on hopping around and seeing others takes on this months subject. Have a blessed day!</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-2212035092716618322023-11-27T19:31:00.001-05:002023-11-27T19:31:25.473-05:00A Challenge, You Say?<p style="text-align: center;">For me, motivation is hard to come by at times. Life is busy and during the holiday season, it is magnified two fold. I get excited when people that I have met through blogging hold a challenge of their own or merely mention one that they are contributing to. It provides me with a direction to follow for crafting a post that would otherwise not exist. I want to keep moving forward and to stay in touch without always having to concoct something from nothing, hoping that it catches on. I am not always able to put myself in the right headspace to write but I want to stay engaged and at times, I need help from others to do so. I came across a bit of unsolicited help today, thanks to <a href="https://tyreanswritingspot.blogspot.com/">Tyrean Martinson</a>.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I have been tuning in to creatives that contribute to IWSG since I returned earlier this year and Tyrean is one of them. My reasoning is two fold. I need to arm myself with what others have experienced in their own journey. Reading the work of others creates a drive in me that I cannot muster on my own. I need constant reminding that the work will be worth it and that I am capable. (I guess I am still a little needy in this aspect.) It helps me focus. I also hope to build my own site and one of the best ways to do so is to follow and actively participate with others that are trying to make a go of the writing game.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I don't know if Tyrean meant to start a challenge when she posted her November 17 entry but I am going to accept it as such and roll with it.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I'll begin by sharing what I am thankful for.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>MY LITTLE GIRL</i></p><p style="text-align: center;">Sweetie, you may never read this, but you bring an unconceivable amount of joy to my heart. A joy that cannot be quantified by using mortal words. You have my complete attention and until I return to the dirt, that will not change. You are a burning light in the darkness, my dear. I simply would be unable to carry on without you. Dada loves you more than anything on this earthly plain.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>FAMILY</i></p><p style="text-align: center;">To say that the last eighteen months have been turbulent is an understatement. It has become blatantly clear to me that I need my family. My father and sisters hold a dear place in my soul. I could go on about each of them but this post would never end. My mother, who passed in February 2022, is missed dearly. She fought fearlessly for her family. Where there was once an unwavering love, there is now a tangible void in the same. Her words and loving embrace still reverberate in the depths of my soul.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>FRIENDS (Extended Family)</i></p><p style="text-align: center;">Some have passed away and some have decided to leave but the few that matter, the core group, remain. Over the years, we have stayed in contact but getting together had proven difficult. Obligations to family and scheduling conflicts had filled in the once empty time slots. Now that our children are grown and are not as dependent on us, we are able to reconnect more regularly and it feels good to have the boys back in the fold. They are not blood, but they might as well be. I would have never made it through my twenties and thirties without them. And now, in our forties, I cannot thank them enough for extending a hand and being fully engaged when needed.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><u>Books (Series) That I Am Thankful For (In no particular order.)</u></i></p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><ul><li><i>1. This Beautiful Mess - Rick McKinley</i></li><li><i>2. Walking With Arthur - James O'Donnell</i></li><li><i>3. Messy Spirituality - Michael Yaconelli</i></li><li><i>4. The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien</i></li><li><i>5. Wheel of Time (Series) - Robert Jordan (I must add an addendum here. I petered out on Fires of Heaven but plan on restarting/finishing the entire series.)</i></li><li><i>6. The Wayfarer Redemption (Trilogy) - Sara Douglass</i></li><li><i>7. Brain Lock - Jeffrey M. Schwartz</i></li><li><i>8. Left Behind (Series) - Tim LaHaye & Jerry B. Jenkins (Again, petered out. My favorite characters starting getting knocked off and I got frustrated. Planning on restarting/finishing.)</i></li><li><i>9. The Blood Gospel - James Rollins & Rebecca Cantrell</i></li><li><i>10. Where The Red Fern Grows - Wilson Rawls (I sob every time. Last time with my daughter, a couple of years back. Grade school assignment. I am a sap.)</i></li><li><i>11. The Iron Tower - Dennis L. McKiernan</i></li><li><i>12. The Shack - William P. Young</i></li></ul><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><u>A to Z - Artists (Bands) That I am Thankful For</u></i></p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><ul><li><i>A. Audioslave</i></li><li><i>B. Blind Melon</i></li><li><i>C. Chevelle</i></li><li><i>D. Death Cab for Cutie</i></li><li><i>E. Everclear</i></li><li><i>F. Ben Folds</i></li><li><i>G. G. Love & Special Sauce</i></li><li><i>H. Ben Harper</i></li><li><i>I. Incubus</i></li><li><i>J. Jack Johnson</i></li><li><i>K. The Killers</i></li><li><i>L. Live</i></li><li><i>M. Mutemath</i></li><li><i>N. Nirvana</i></li><li><i>O. O.K. Go</i></li><li><i>P. Pearl Jam</i></li><li><i>Q. Queens of The Stone Age</i></li><li><i>R. Ren</i></li><li><i>S. Staind</i></li><li><i>T. Tool</i></li><li><i>U. Underoath</i></li><li><i>V. Violent Femmes</i></li><li><i>W. Weezer</i></li><li><i>X. (Uhhh, nothing for X)</i></li><li><i>Y. (Errr, nothing for Y)</i></li><li><i>Z. The Zutons</i></li></ul><div>So, there you have it. A teeny glimpse into me and what I am thankful for. If there is something in the lists above that you have not read or listened to, I implore you to give it a go. I do not think I have horrible taste. And if you haven't already, stop by Tyrean's blog and post a couple of things that you are thankful for.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-74862913177763781952023-11-02T08:26:00.001-04:002023-11-02T08:26:35.392-04:00Insecure Writers Support Group - November 1, 2023<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_-OT9feeBodpyToqkenAB8iHfYtF8l8qMLuhdnGf54g8PLx6DewWc8VTl40ploF0qq1kKjs5YcAkGcZmf5aReP3aH7hiVa1itGDeJxRqHMHrLzm8Z_xyIft74MVcNt7efgYVp1Y0lpIqVyPennGjX0tABmsIdJhBfLLRgnCVRMWVFoKMVrbwtXBodXqA/s932/Insecure%20Writers%20Support%20Group%20Badge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="918" data-original-width="932" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_-OT9feeBodpyToqkenAB8iHfYtF8l8qMLuhdnGf54g8PLx6DewWc8VTl40ploF0qq1kKjs5YcAkGcZmf5aReP3aH7hiVa1itGDeJxRqHMHrLzm8Z_xyIft74MVcNt7efgYVp1Y0lpIqVyPennGjX0tABmsIdJhBfLLRgnCVRMWVFoKMVrbwtXBodXqA/s320/Insecure%20Writers%20Support%20Group%20Badge.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Once again, we find ourselves offering support to those of us that put our words and thoughts out there for the world to see. It's <a href="https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/">IWSG</a> time again and I cannot begin without thanking our ninja captain extraordinaire, <a href="https://www.alexjcavanaugh.com/">Alex J Cavanaugh</a> for starting this group.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The co-hosts for the November 1st posting on IWSG are <a href="https://www.pjcolando.com/">PJ Colando</a>, <a href="https://jeanddavis.blogspot.com/">Jean Davis</a>, <a href="http://www.lisabuiecollard.com">Lisa Buie Collard</a> and <a href="https://pensivepenspost.blogspot.com/">Diedra Knight</a>.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Cast your doubts and fears aside! Unbelievable support and guidance can be found write (See what I did there) here when joining this group.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>Today's Question: November is National Novel Writing Month! Have you ever participated? If not, why not?</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I'll be honest. I was unaware that November was National Novel Writing Month. I had to search it out after seeing the question for this installment of our group. Needless to say, I will most likely be joining.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Surrounding myself with more tools and writers cannot be a bad thing. I am an infant in this game and doubt myself at every turn but I have forced pen to paper or fingers on the keys, I suppose, to keep pushing on. My goal is to post something once a week on Habitual Hobbit but I normally fall woefully short. It is not because I don't want to, I just want to post bits that mean something, whether it is for my own spewing or not.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Anyone that happens to read this post, I would like to know more about NaNoWriMo so shoot me an email or add your thoughts in comment form.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-64147122961126878412023-10-27T13:02:00.000-04:002023-10-27T13:02:31.842-04:00It's Scary Time!<p style="text-align: center;"> It's that time of year again! Spooky season! And while I do not care much for it, I decided to do a bit of research and share my thoughts on this "spookiest" of celebrations.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6p6P31A2SxIaAqbxjnewfGNK6sjBCwLWn8uVar8ULpLijhVNz0T6QbQ1qD39iqfCEsJpuf3tXiSCQEWfAEl5Dvl3yMbdV99fcMhzLmP8LAqrtoHtxqoEQthrsReOB_gqLRw8_SxUjnvgwsnluhWAu_CMP07_pv6NhPUvW44V0EgyzMYnAB8AmR-gN4bQ/s740/Halloween.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="575" data-original-width="740" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6p6P31A2SxIaAqbxjnewfGNK6sjBCwLWn8uVar8ULpLijhVNz0T6QbQ1qD39iqfCEsJpuf3tXiSCQEWfAEl5Dvl3yMbdV99fcMhzLmP8LAqrtoHtxqoEQthrsReOB_gqLRw8_SxUjnvgwsnluhWAu_CMP07_pv6NhPUvW44V0EgyzMYnAB8AmR-gN4bQ/w320-h249/Halloween.jpg" title="<a href="https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/halloween-background-with-dark-grunge-effect_936214.htm#query=halloween&position=50&from_view=keyword&track=sph">Image by kjpargeter</a> on Freepik" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;">As a child, I enjoyed sauntering from door to door in search of a big candy score. My crew and I would hustle around the neighborhood in an attempt to hit as many houses as possible to maximize our haul. In early September, the anticipation would begin building and plans were laid out for who or what we were going to don as costumes. While it was enjoyable creating those memories, I really never thought much about it's meaning and why it was celebrated. I understand the meaning behind the "big five" as they pertain to me. Christmas is a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Thanksgiving, as I was taught in grammar school, was a day to celebrate the peaceful gathering of the Pilgrims and Wampanoag People. It was a day to enjoy fellowship with loved ones and overeat, nap, catch some football and pass out from a food coma. I have since come to a deeper understanding. To me, Thanksgiving is a time for us to praise God for the blessings he has provided to us. Easter marks the resurrection of Jesus Christ, three days after the crucifixion. Memorial Day is a day to remember our fallen soldiers that set their own well being aside to protect our freedoms here at home and Veterans Day is day to give thanks to those who served or serve in the armed forces. The others are self explanatory. But, why Halloween? After doing a little research, I found more information pertaining to the holiday than I thought I would!</p><p style="text-align: center;">Is Halloween considered a Christian holiday or a Pagan holiday? Is it neither? Is it both?</p><p style="text-align: center;">I simply started by Googling "Halloween meaning" and was surprised at the abundance of articles concerning this topic. I'll apologize in advance, I linked the crap out of this post so you can dive further in if you feel so inclined.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I found one <a href="https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/halloween-ideas/g4607/history-of-halloween/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=arb_ga_ghk_d_bm_prog_org_us_g4607&gclid=CjwKCAjw1t2pBhAFEiwA_-A-NIGFwpjPWsEsD3qgoITMpg1IQRPFt7fbv6Kq5TbCR9yO66ppaMGiORoCenQQAvD_BwE">article</a> written by <a href="https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/author/12638/caroline-picard/">Caroline Picard</a> and <a href="https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/author/221791/lizz-schumer/">Lizz Schumer</a> with Good Housekeeping to be particularly interesting. Click the links if you would rather read it for yourself but the bullet points I found most interesting are as follows: It is believed that Halloween originated a couple thousand years ago by the Celtic people (Pagans) to celebrate <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samhain">Samhain</a>. During this time, it is believed that the barrier between worlds of the living and the dead is thinner, allowing for easier communication between the living and loved ones that have passed on. People would don animal skins and heads during the festivities. Maybe that explains why we wear costumes today?</p><p style="text-align: center;">An article written by <a href="https://www.countryliving.com/author/225308/ian-palmer/">Ian Palmer</a> and <a href="https://www.countryliving.com/author/241553/terri-robertson/">Terri Robertson</a> in <a href="https://www.countryliving.com/life/kids-pets/g32971927/bible-verses-about-halloween/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=arb_ga_clv_md_dsa_hybd_mix_us_20165331319&gclid=CjwKCAjwv-2pBhB-EiwAtsQZFAzA_LEvVwtqvizeLRGonaDiOnnkYV6wbSY-B1Tu3_3ahoQv8hyUYBoCfmkQAvD_BwE">Country Living</a> breaks down a more Christian approach and attempts to answer questions on whether or not Halloween has biblical ties.</p><p style="text-align: center;">In Christianity, it has been widely argued on each end whether or not it should be celebrated by followers of Christ. The word "Hallow" translates into "Holy" in Old English. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Saints%27_Day">All Saints Day</a> is a Christian (Catholic origins) holiday where Saints are celebrated on November 1st, followed by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Souls%27_Day">All Souls' Day</a> on November 2nd where loved ones that have passed on are remembered. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween">All Hollows Eve</a> (Halloween) is the Eve of All Saints Day.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween">Wikipedia's entry</a> is interesting also and covers a broader summation, touching on Secular and Christian differences and what the day means in many other belief systems and peoples across the world. One common theme, it seems, is that the day is celebrated to honor the dead. That may explain why it has taken on a spookier tone related to ghosts, witches, devils and the like. It is also a time when horror movies see an uptick in release and viewing. My 16 year old daughter has recently taken a liking to the genre. I tend to steer clear of the violence depicted in these films because it doesn't play well with obsessive thinking. My mantra has been "If you put junk in, you get junk out." I simply do not need any help creating another avenue for negativity. I do well enough on my own.</p><p style="text-align: center;">There is so much more I wanted to touch on here but decided to keep it to a minimum. This post would never end. I simply wanted to educate myself in regards to the roots of the holiday and why we celebrate it. I do not lean heavily to either side of the argument and do not think less of those that enjoy it. When my daughter was a wee little lass, I experienced so much joy seeing the excitement that she experienced while watching the candy get dropped in the bucket. It brought back memories of my childhood and the enjoyment of Halloween I had as a kiddo.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I'll leave you with a song of antiquity. "Nightmare On My Street" - DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/n_9-ZKcuUU4" width="320" youtube-src-id="n_9-ZKcuUU4"></iframe></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-63462432204468506032023-10-03T21:42:00.000-04:002023-10-03T21:42:15.045-04:00Insecure Writer's Support Group - October 2, 2023<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzXnPjFVvV5Cc70mAL_YIRdJAMAcb1c8NJRPtdArrcrbTWi34A_XUMAvE6RDW58wEbB6WqIxmSKozFWwF6Sp-wE1pcbsluiVsWkhATGhgq-8fsnTGLv5X-s3FoiwQAd-hNdD4bPX1VSPZfGFwqQLopdLk1pxKVwCJdy1lPud3fDdvuzhWZ2QAhE5p5dDA/s932/Insecure%20Writers%20Support%20Group%20Badge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="918" data-original-width="932" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzXnPjFVvV5Cc70mAL_YIRdJAMAcb1c8NJRPtdArrcrbTWi34A_XUMAvE6RDW58wEbB6WqIxmSKozFWwF6Sp-wE1pcbsluiVsWkhATGhgq-8fsnTGLv5X-s3FoiwQAd-hNdD4bPX1VSPZfGFwqQLopdLk1pxKVwCJdy1lPud3fDdvuzhWZ2QAhE5p5dDA/s320/Insecure%20Writers%20Support%20Group%20Badge.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p style="text-align: center;">It is time, yet again, for the monthly installment of <a href="https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/">The Insecure Writer's Support Group</a>. On the first Wednesday of every month, those that have signed up for the blog hop have an opportunity to talk candidly about the writing journey without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those that have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It is a safe haven for writer's of all kinds.</p><p style="text-align: center;">First and foremost, a big thank you is in order to the group's founder, <a href="https://www.alexjcavanaugh.com/">Alex J Cavanaugh</a> and the co-hosts for the October posting: <a href="http://www.literaryrambles.com/">Natalie Aguirre</a>, <a href="https://kimlajevardi.com/">Kim Lajevardi</a>, <a href="https://fictioncanbefun.wordpress.com/">Debs Carey</a>, <a href="http://gwengardner.blogspot.com/">Gwen Gardner</a>, <a href="https://twistingmyths.substack.com/">Patricia Josephine</a> and <a href="https://www.rebecca-douglass.com/">Rebecca Douglass</a>.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>Today's Question: The topic of AI writing has been heavily debated across the world. According to various sources, generative AI will assist writers, not replace them. What are your thoughts?</b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere." - Albert Einstein</i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;">I'll be honest. I am not sure that I like the thought of writing derived by artificial intelligence. I do not have any experience with it and I don't plan on giving it a roll. I understand what it is but do not know much about it. We are so dependent on technology that it seems like we are straying away from what makes the art so incredible. Knowing that a story or imaginary world has been completely created by the human mind is why I enjoy reading, writing and watching. I simply cannot fathom how Stephen King's mind works. I would think less of his creativity if I found out he used AI. To find out that Middle Earth was created by something other than Tolkien's imagination would be a buzz kill. The world he created while writing The Hobbit and LOTR is absurd to think about. Same goes for Robert Jordan and The Wheel of Time. The sheer amount of information in these series is mind boggling. I can understand why it could be helpful in certain area's but don't like the idea of it being used as a substitute for human creativity.</p><p style="text-align: center;">If you are new to this site, welcome! Drop a comment if you agree or disagree with my take. I would like a chance to understand your thoughts on the topic of AI.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Not sure why, but as I was trying to answer this question, Ben Harper's song, With My Own Two Hands was reverberating in my mind so, I'll leave you with it. Enjoy!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aEnfy9qfdaU" width="320" youtube-src-id="aEnfy9qfdaU"></iframe></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-45370858877336787532023-10-02T19:17:00.004-04:002023-10-02T19:17:33.941-04:00Good Days Ahead<p style="text-align: center;"> Hello all! It has been a few weeks since I have had an opportunity to post. Life has been busy! While I have had time to check out a few new blogs from IWSG and comment on those that I had already followed, I have been stuck in neutral as it pertains to my own writing. (I will touch on this a bit later.) It hasn't been because of a lack of motivation, just a lack of disposable time. And while this excuse works for me, it was just steamrolled by Elizabeth S. Craig and her piece on the IWSG main page about setting aside fifteen minutes a day to write so, I did. This is what I came up with.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">During the past six months, I have experienced many changes. All of you that have tuned in since my return know the story. Having to navigate a different path than I thought I'd be on has been interesting, to say the least. I have settled in to my new norm and it isn't as frightening as I thought it would be. I was not a fan of change before but realize now, that when <i>your </i>plans get derailed, things don't end horribly every time. There will always be something to look forward to. So, in this time of acceptance and growth, I carry that lesson forward. Happiness is mine for the taking but I will need to <i>take it</i>. The immortal words of Shannon Hoon ring true: <b>"Cause when you stop dreamin' it's time to die."</b> This lyric alone provides a profound look in to my current mind state. Before, I had lived in the past and while trying to figure out the "why's", it didn't dawn on me that I was missing out on the present. I wanted it to magically go away with medication. That ended up not working out so well. Throughout life, we walk through the fire and we lose loved ones but we need to move forward in their honor. Not a single person that I've lost would want me to stay stationary in sadness. I can't afford to keep mourning loss. My daughter can't afford it either. "Get busy living or get busy dying!." (Just a little Shawshank reference) So, if I have experienced the worst that this life has to offer and I am still "upright and breathing." (Thanks Corey!) I'll take it!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Now, for the writing thing. Back in 2012ish, I came up with the idea of a story I wanted to tell. I had no experience and had no direction. I simply started tapping away on the keys. After having written a prologue and a chapter or so, I scrapped the writing idea entirely. Over the years, I did miss it and at random times, I would look at the old blog and think, "I should get back in to this." I never acted on my will to do so until recently. During the stories first days, I blindly started writing and it was fun but I quickly realized that I had no plot, no real cast of characters, no twists and no real sense of direction. I was just writing. All of these thoughts hit me smack dab in the tenders and I stopped. I kept up with the blog for a short time but soon after this epiphany, I stopped that also. I am not sure I will ever do more than this and that is okay. I know my original idea is limited. I will never be Stephen King or Tolkien and I get it but it doesn't mean I should stop. Just enjoy the process of creativity and let her rip. Maybe, if I just write like I used to, things will come together, but if not, I will live on. I have taken a break from The War West and started tinkering in poetry and song writing again. Both are some of favorite things to do. When I am comfortable with sharing those things, I'll add some here and see what you all think.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This past weekend, I experienced a weird and unexpected blast from the past and I wanted to share. Saturday, I golfed with my brother in law, my oldest nephew and his buddy, which is like another nephew really. He's been around the family for a long time. But after the outing, we stopped in at the local bar for a couple of beers and a bite. I came to find out that an old band that I used watch back in my early twenties were playing at the exact place I was at. I had no idea. So instead of going home early, I stayed and watched. I am so glad I did. I loved the local music scene in Fort Wayne, IN back then and these dudes were some of my favorites to go see live.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Allow me to introduce The Wailhounds performing Rickety Ol' Ford. I hope you enjoy!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3a_aobSqv6g" width="320" youtube-src-id="3a_aobSqv6g"></iframe></div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-73744443979937956472023-09-07T13:41:00.001-04:002023-09-07T13:41:56.032-04:00Insecure Writers Support Group - September 6, 2023<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSL7XGu11uCx-k67wbuzlmcm_ABi4zVGy4IbJ8GjG7l4vmyyyp7S5dBOM119w5QPLoeVnQ3yumsCwuRydnOVPTK6WV7wZKuz7J_sjx01EOVTooihV05j-UxLxhnr7oQHPYCsr9MVaylz9EeY-tdt6wIeibXTri6oZXYgo5cnht3UWEfiVFy7fpq5q3uA4/s932/Insecure%20Writers%20Support%20Group%20Badge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="918" data-original-width="932" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSL7XGu11uCx-k67wbuzlmcm_ABi4zVGy4IbJ8GjG7l4vmyyyp7S5dBOM119w5QPLoeVnQ3yumsCwuRydnOVPTK6WV7wZKuz7J_sjx01EOVTooihV05j-UxLxhnr7oQHPYCsr9MVaylz9EeY-tdt6wIeibXTri6oZXYgo5cnht3UWEfiVFy7fpq5q3uA4/s320/Insecure%20Writers%20Support%20Group%20Badge.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p style="text-align: center;">Twelve Years!! Congratulations on keeping this group intact!</p><p style="text-align: center;">As always, I will begin by thanking <a href="https://www.alexjcavanaugh.com/">Alex J. Cavanaugh</a> for starting this hop. I am sure that it is tiring at times, to juggle the many things that go along with creating such a place, all while continuing to add to his own work. He seems to do this with ease. I am truly grateful. Mr. Cavanaugh followed my site long ago and guess who was the first to comment upon my return? Yeah, you know.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Also, I would like to extend a special thanks to the co-hosts for this month. <a href="https://soniadogra.com/">Sonia Dogra</a>, <a href="https://jlennidorner.blogspot.com/">J Lenni Dorner</a>, <a href="http://www.patgarciaandeverythingmustchange.com/">Pat Garcia</a>, <a href="http://thefauxfountainpen.blogspot.com/">Sara - The Faux Fountain Pen</a> and <a href="https://authormekajames.wordpress.com/">Meka James</a>.<b style="background-color: white; color: #191919; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; text-align: left;"></b></p><p style="text-align: center;">The IWSG was created to support those of us that love to write but have insecurities, hang ups, doubts and fears. The writers here offer support and tips to assist in making informed decisions in regard to our work. If you haven't already, join the hop at <a href="https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/">IWSG</a>. Click the <i>IWSG Sign Up</i> tab under the header and begin reaping the benefits. While you are at it, be sure to check on others and if so inclined, offer support to when needed. It makes a difference, trust me.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>Today's question: The IWSG celebrates twelve years today! When did you discover the IWSG, how do you connect and how has it helped you?</b></p><p style="text-align: center;">I originally came across the IWSG long ago, while it was still in its infancy. Circa 2012. I was (and still am) a novice when it came to blogging. I originally created the <a href="https://habitualhobbit.blogspot.com/">HabitualHobbit</a> to shed light on aspects of having mental illness and the negative stigma that one feels when being diagnosed with a disorder. Over time, I garnered a small following of seventyish people that were interested in what I had to say and it emboldened me to keep putting myself out there. Along the way, I came across this group and decided that, if I was to continue, I would benefit from reading the words of such skilled writers. I did not anticipate the amount of warm wishes and tips I would receive, mostly from fellow group members.</p><p style="text-align: center;">After a long hiatus, I decided to enter the fray once more. Armed with more resolve, I sought out the group again. And, I am happy I did.</p><p style="text-align: center;">As always, I will leave you with song. Check out Incubus - Pistola</p><p style="text-align: center;">I think it fits nicely here.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Be will friends!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Et0Cb2cKGbg" width="320" youtube-src-id="Et0Cb2cKGbg"></iframe></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-84003000664255141982023-08-15T16:25:00.001-04:002023-08-15T16:25:53.407-04:00Nope Rope, Part I<p style="text-align: center;"><b><i> "Never wound a snake, kill it." - Harriet Tubman</i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;">My sentiments exactly.</p><p style="text-align: center;">For those of you that have dared enter this site, I did try to warn you. The tab located on my home page entitled "The Rub/Contact" sums up this blog. It's messy and does not always make for comfortable discussion but you will get all of me, good and bad. My sense of humor can be <i>skewed </i>at times. I can look at myself through a different lens and see humor in my shortcomings and at times, I will be self deprecating but that is okay. This post is a redux from one published long ago, during the beginning stages of this blog. I removed all of the old material from 2012-2013 in an attempt to start with a clean slate. Here is a reincarnated version of the original.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Ophidiophobia is an extreme, overwhelming fear of snakes and yes, I have that. Not sure where this fear came from either. Throughout history, several cultures have myth's related to the serpent. In Norse mythology, Jormungandr, the great serpent of the sea, bit his own tail to surround the earth. When he releases said tail, Ragnarok (The end of the world) will begin and gods like Thor, Odin and Heimdall will perish. Greek mythology tells us of the Gorgons. Three sisters (Medusa, being the most notable) with hair made of snakes, would turn their gaze upon you and your form would turn to stone. Maybe it stems from the biblical story of The Garden of Eden, taught to me so long ago. You know, Satan disguising himself as a serpent, coercing Adam and Eve to partake in the forbidden fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, even after God forbid them to do so. Or maybe, I am not as "in the minority" as I think and a good majority of us have an inbred fear of the nope rope. Any way you slice it, the fear is tangible, for some. This is my take regarding these dangerous little demons from the bowels of hell. Here are just a few examples of what resides here in the good old U.S of A.</p><p style="text-align: center;">We will begin by easing our way into the fray, starting with the Eastern Copperhead (picture below). The Copperhead is a pit viper, and can be found in many areas of the U.S. You will usually find them in heavily wooded areas or near rock formations. These little miscreants are prevalent in southwest Arkansas, where I recently visited on holiday. I didn't happen across any during this recent go around but I have seen them on golf courses in HSV a couple of times. Copperheads inject victims with hemolytic toxin. The venom breaks down red blood cells which will subdue smaller prey but are not normally life threatening to humans, if treated quickly. Even if it doesn't kill you, a Copperhead bite can still make for a crappy day.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7IDX_nEq4jwZBq5VjSfVnhcc18Iefb5tSxztGupJR4q1_gYD-esihEhw5kX1hs7vykJ0wTxjinSFPP8ocYGcDr5OEuTGJBzesh4wwgqwO4Fg0Ygdp5tl1qmlTM03ea5W8SSL5meyba6v8J6FE_-N6i198dooL2ZY7aHX30pv3fv5Ulw83yKnkReOxaJY/s1200/Copperhead.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="627" data-original-width="1200" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7IDX_nEq4jwZBq5VjSfVnhcc18Iefb5tSxztGupJR4q1_gYD-esihEhw5kX1hs7vykJ0wTxjinSFPP8ocYGcDr5OEuTGJBzesh4wwgqwO4Fg0Ygdp5tl1qmlTM03ea5W8SSL5meyba6v8J6FE_-N6i198dooL2ZY7aHX30pv3fv5Ulw83yKnkReOxaJY/s320/Copperhead.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This little fellow looks like he was probably pissed at birth.</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="text-align: center;">Next on the board is the Eastern Diamondback Rattler (picture below). Family of origin is Viperidae. Widely known as the longest and heaviest snake found in the U.S., this species of death coil can be found in Southeastern portions of the country, including the Carolina's, Florida, Mississippi, Alabama and into Louisiana. It's venom is a hemotoxin which break down red blood cells (yada, yada) which will disrupt clotting and in some cases, aid in organ degeneration and tissue damage. Fun, huh? I would be remiss if I did not mention that there are over eighty sub species of rattlesnake in the U.S., with the Western Diamondback having the highest toxicity per bite and the highest fatality rate in the states.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6IDWKd8ReV-EtmboZsLN67h0zTAuSkSOJ91To6LGJVewB2q5Aqb93RA6Fp5C5tE9qGVQcENMBZABi_J7gxCnDP5fvqQLe4xlFQgzXP0staDK2fRxrqJhdJtAb-SZa-0QxNX32vs0U5aJwOXYOLOVeIAFNzAA8w19dNuA6ZyvCq1KQLlsNqC7m-MXsYvs/s1024/Eastern-diamonback.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6IDWKd8ReV-EtmboZsLN67h0zTAuSkSOJ91To6LGJVewB2q5Aqb93RA6Fp5C5tE9qGVQcENMBZABi_J7gxCnDP5fvqQLe4xlFQgzXP0staDK2fRxrqJhdJtAb-SZa-0QxNX32vs0U5aJwOXYOLOVeIAFNzAA8w19dNuA6ZyvCq1KQLlsNqC7m-MXsYvs/s320/Eastern-diamonback.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">EVIL. Pure EVIL.</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="text-align: center;">Finally, we come to the Coral Snake. (Picture below)</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk4zzkV8nG_DPjKEGX9WrfQmhfuR-wUtXP1zCUAMLTbrhDAR6B1o9XBo0ZdNRSCssifwc15tZR_JzS3TNtU0rfB8QjZ2jt6RGXGRAE7668ut3G4mpM8KaFMwEloRQDgHl6X0rQ1zzR-uSFoyUTUnP4XJmL2BM7Vl6Kkt0M2AWAo0Csdwq9osm-kXQagJI/s800/800px-Coral_009.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Remember, "red touch yellow, kill a fellow. Red touch black, friend of Jack." border="0" data-original-height="712" data-original-width="800" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk4zzkV8nG_DPjKEGX9WrfQmhfuR-wUtXP1zCUAMLTbrhDAR6B1o9XBo0ZdNRSCssifwc15tZR_JzS3TNtU0rfB8QjZ2jt6RGXGRAE7668ut3G4mpM8KaFMwEloRQDgHl6X0rQ1zzR-uSFoyUTUnP4XJmL2BM7Vl6Kkt0M2AWAo0Csdwq9osm-kXQagJI/w320-h285/800px-Coral_009.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Remember, "red touch yellow, kill a fellow. Red touch black, friend of Jack.</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="text-align: center;">These little bastards are a touch different than those mentioned above. The coral snake is a species of Elapid, which include the black mamba, cobra and several species of sea snakes, which will all be mentioned in part two. Venom toxicity is strong with this one but, unlike the examples above, it's mechanism to transfer the juice is much different. See, vipers can unleash mass amounts of venom in a single, quick strike, where the coral snake has much smaller fangs. It will actually latch on to prey and stay in the bite for longer in order inject a lethal dose of neurotoxin. This is much different in the way it attacks the body. Bites are usually less painful but work quicker and paralyze the muscles used for breathing. Coral snakes are docile by nature and will hide or flee before they attack. Most species can be found in southern states with Florida being the hot bed.</p><p style="text-align: center;">So, there you have it. I know it is a small sample size but these are the most common venomous snakes in the States. There are twenty two known species around these parts and most dwell in warmer areas. That is fine by me. Come to think of it, living in northern Indiana isn't that bad after all. I am more likely to bite it being trampled by a buggy filled with Amish than I am any other way. I think I like my chances.</p><p style="text-align: center;">For now, I will leave this here. Be on the lookout in the future for a "part 2" because the scariest snakes live in other countries. I will get in to those another time. My anxiety level is elevated by simply choosing the pictures above so I must get moving. </p><p style="text-align: center;">Enjoy "Snakes" as performed by Pixies.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IAxqFo59TBs" width="320" youtube-src-id="IAxqFo59TBs"></iframe></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-22976154719522319732023-08-02T17:54:00.000-04:002023-08-02T17:54:21.788-04:00Insecure Writer's Support Group - August 2, 2023<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJKaJwTmO_iKNUH9FWw9jZTntSPhkByzsAdEh1a3kefLMmfC55lgGCFmGxHEb2jngUxEreqlqylxaHer9eoVyTUX2HvrH5E2M2IuAiFlLXjnxVHYvbCYA0NMHfg2-vmG3RVp1Y66B7GbeFUuIpSPH_qnTk1apzdGVlSLypXsJm1SL7132CF010jimlG4Q/s932/Insecure%20Writers%20Support%20Group%20Badge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="918" data-original-width="932" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJKaJwTmO_iKNUH9FWw9jZTntSPhkByzsAdEh1a3kefLMmfC55lgGCFmGxHEb2jngUxEreqlqylxaHer9eoVyTUX2HvrH5E2M2IuAiFlLXjnxVHYvbCYA0NMHfg2-vmG3RVp1Y66B7GbeFUuIpSPH_qnTk1apzdGVlSLypXsJm1SL7132CF010jimlG4Q/s320/Insecure%20Writers%20Support%20Group%20Badge.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;">My, how time fly's. It is once again time to post for <a href="https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/">The Insecure Writer's Support Group</a>.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I would be remiss if I did not thank <a href="https://www.alexjcavanaugh.com/">Alex J. Cavanaugh</a> for starting this group. I have gained so much good information and support during the short time I have been a part of this unbelievable collection of creatives. I simply cannot thank those that have looked in and shared in this journey enough. I am still weaving my way around, introducing myself to those on the list and eventually, I will get through the whole thing.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Co-hosts this month are <a href="http://katelarkindale.blogspot.com/">Kate Larkindale</a>, <a href="http://dianeburton.blogspot.com/">Diane Burton</a>, <a href="https://janetalcorn.com/">Janet Alcorn</a> and <a href="http://thewarriormuse.blogspot.com/">Shannon Lawrence</a>.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I have not been able to write much over the last week because I was away on vacation with the family but things are getting back to normal. I plan on visiting more of you on the list, all while adding to my little story.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><i>August 2, 2023 question: Have you ever written something that afterwards you felt conflicted about? If so, did you let it stay how it was, take it out or rewrite it?</i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;">To be honest, I experience conflict while crafting every post. It is not easy for me to put myself out there for everyone to see (read). I am constantly typing and deleting and rewriting again, looking for the perfect words to describe my current feelings, whatever they may be. Each piece I create produces a certain amount of stress internally because sometimes, I need to rehash some hurtful memory or circumstance that I would rather not think about. I want the reader to feel my experience. This blog tells my personal story. The mess and all things that come along with it, good and bad.</p><p style="text-align: center;">The same goes for my short story, The War West. I constantly delete and rewrite because I do not want to offend anyone. This may be my story's undoing because it is going to be impossible to complete without rustling some feathers. I guess I will need to deal with negativity when it comes my way. </p><p style="text-align: center;">Cheers to twelve years!! I remember when this group was in it's infancy, way back. I missed so much during my years in the void. I pray that the group continues with the much need support for years to come. It is truly a blessing.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-48679894739949511952023-07-31T20:11:00.000-04:002023-07-31T20:11:04.189-04:00Vacation 2023<p style="text-align: center;">Hello and welcome.</p><p style="text-align: center;">The family vacation has past and it is now time to get back to the daily grind. The trip ended in success and I was able to set my current life struggles aside enough to enjoy some much needed time away. I must preface the following by admitting I am not a photographer. The pictures below were taken on my cell phone and do not completely depict the beauty of the Ouachita Mountains in Western Arkansas but it will give you a general idea. No rain threatened at any time during our week long stay. The mornings were hazy but as the day progressed, the clouds would dissipate, letting through a clear blue sky with little cloud cover.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDMVcFKl8kXTov-bwQOa4cNhfk4-gsj3UDmJrsO_Fv_lk7EayPi1bPZDzdYvpsDAsa2CcGoJ7z7eG7LpJzhnFysLGor1Lub5Z48WtX6OZg6OGvDUVurmZO2FjKzdd7Mitqts5aHCVh6btdBgh3LryWc0SMW8TnkR44WclIr3S6Wfl5oVzgZcQ4VTPR_nA/s4032/IMG_0219.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDMVcFKl8kXTov-bwQOa4cNhfk4-gsj3UDmJrsO_Fv_lk7EayPi1bPZDzdYvpsDAsa2CcGoJ7z7eG7LpJzhnFysLGor1Lub5Z48WtX6OZg6OGvDUVurmZO2FjKzdd7Mitqts5aHCVh6btdBgh3LryWc0SMW8TnkR44WclIr3S6Wfl5oVzgZcQ4VTPR_nA/w240-h320/IMG_0219.jpg" title="The view from my deck" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The view from my deck.</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="text-align: center;">The picture above was the view I would take in every day upon waking up. I would sit on the deck most mornings to simply breathe in fresh air and surround myself with the pristine beauty of the area. During these moments, I was able to sit quietly and meditate. There was very little noise. I found that aspect of the area most pleasing.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnU9EsIiQffDqJ-usXA0WDN-NWGv1ZvovltYQogn1p-o61A24Kp1NLtJwAXjDAS2Z0M-A87ZwwapzovZOc83tIEtaJH3-TSrO88biUD_EROaOauuQ4ihDwSPh3p8d6qNDYJ9t4lSfapqDzhS1PbuU73dP4L2tiCqPmtvr1EJ2clWMyC-533CaC4VGbvM8/s4032/IMG_0211.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnU9EsIiQffDqJ-usXA0WDN-NWGv1ZvovltYQogn1p-o61A24Kp1NLtJwAXjDAS2Z0M-A87ZwwapzovZOc83tIEtaJH3-TSrO88biUD_EROaOauuQ4ihDwSPh3p8d6qNDYJ9t4lSfapqDzhS1PbuU73dP4L2tiCqPmtvr1EJ2clWMyC-533CaC4VGbvM8/s320/IMG_0211.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;">Thursday, we rented a pontoon and cruised Lake Balboa in The Village. From my understanding, Balboa is the largest man-made lake in the area. Again, blue skies, very few clouds and intense heat. It was pushing 100 degrees on this day.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFPNSthaI4OZkh4ne_f03jGz9mcI6rAOL0Qff5miW5aXgxrBJ2rfTB2P6oKX6XLfl0rVPYctoXEdH-R3AZA6bpaAYdTmfsKqlMPaSxuEmjTncLSOStuyvOtnPnDCXMWoBYVOV394rXgjJOv8fIZys3WKCwfPnOAdIG3JB_3krWIw2FG4GxBJ90G_zxpsg/s4032/IMG_0221.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFPNSthaI4OZkh4ne_f03jGz9mcI6rAOL0Qff5miW5aXgxrBJ2rfTB2P6oKX6XLfl0rVPYctoXEdH-R3AZA6bpaAYdTmfsKqlMPaSxuEmjTncLSOStuyvOtnPnDCXMWoBYVOV394rXgjJOv8fIZys3WKCwfPnOAdIG3JB_3krWIw2FG4GxBJ90G_zxpsg/s320/IMG_0221.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;">The golf courses in the community are spectacular. I played four courses throughout the week and not one hole laid flat. The picture above does not tell you the entire story. You would need to see it with your own eyes. My daughter, who is not a golfer, enjoyed the views. She rode along with us on two occasions. She has a keen eye and takes beautiful pictures. A talented photographer in her own right, she enjoyed snapping action shots of us all while taking our swings.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIpXa9-MpOIQDnApxupVnMQryKnUu0M41OrLJynBIUfyzHNMCtmA_WNAM_EYnhNC0epN6UjFryRIR18s98uFGSKNHtUoNu-7GFf7ZlLN1LzEBI6FNhJ41opMvhCkuXwfA28n3EeOg7bAbGEYCbIwIy2jjjMB0Fr4DAc9OURsxg0Mz-kTxl8qVopRgHTh4/s4032/IMG_0223.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIpXa9-MpOIQDnApxupVnMQryKnUu0M41OrLJynBIUfyzHNMCtmA_WNAM_EYnhNC0epN6UjFryRIR18s98uFGSKNHtUoNu-7GFf7ZlLN1LzEBI6FNhJ41opMvhCkuXwfA28n3EeOg7bAbGEYCbIwIy2jjjMB0Fr4DAc9OURsxg0Mz-kTxl8qVopRgHTh4/s320/IMG_0223.jpg" width="240" /></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;">Friday, our last day before the long trip home, we visited Hot Springs. We stayed in The Village most nights but decided to take a ride thirty minutes south to town. The mural above caught my eye. It was the last picture I would take on the trip.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I have settled back into normal mode already. I miss the area and hope to visit again. Every one of us has a place that feels right when we are there. This little bit in Arkansas is mine. But like most good things, it came to an end, at least for now.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I hope that this finds you well. I know it is not much but I wanted to at least share a couple things.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Take care y'all!</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-82982786342705325372023-07-20T16:55:00.000-04:002023-07-20T16:55:09.523-04:00Ellipse<p style="text-align: center;"> "Clouds with ellipses, they come and go and come and go and fade away."</p><p style="text-align: center;">This simple verse has been stuck in my crawl for a couple of weeks. So much so that I decided to use it as the introduction to this post. I enjoy listening to music, especially the words. I like deciphering what the song means to me personally. The story being told will likely mean something completely different for each of us and that is the beauty of a well crafted composition. Do you enjoy the rhythm or do you find yourself dissecting the meaning behind the words? Both are important and I enjoy a thumping kick drum just as much as anyone else but the lyrical content is what grabs my attention the most.</p><p style="text-align: center;">During the past two month's, my penchant for negative obsessive thinking has been non existent. It is such a great feeling to be free from unnecessary worrying and the gut wrenching anxiety that followed, things that I previously experienced on a daily basis. </p><p style="text-align: center;">I have mentioned in previous posts that I look forward to the quiet time in between when I lay down for the night and eventually falling asleep. It's a time where I can decompress. I can think freely and no one is there to pass judgement. It is a simple, non biased relationship. Nate and his thoughts. (I didn't mean to go third person on you but...) The anger I experienced a couple of months ago is all but gone. Currently, I am on a journey of healing and forgiveness. It has not been easy and on occasion, I regress a touch but it's a "three steps forward and an occasional step back" type of process.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I am growing beyond the mess that is currently circling me and it feels pretty good. Faith, family, music and writing have been the cure. I simply do not want to waste another minute of the life I was given on things that I cannot control. My main objective now is to be one hundred percent involved in my daughters life, all while giving her space. This is a tricky thing to do. I want to be around her every waking second of the day but she is a teenager and will be getting her drivers license in the near future. A whole world of possibilities will open up for her and I need to let go of all the worry that comes along with that. She is a well adjusted young lady but the dad in me will always want to protect.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I have began writing the prologue for the short story I have mentioned previously. Here and there, I will share bits and pieces for guidance. During the past week, I have been brain storming for ideas while wondering the following: How will this story be received? Will it be interesting enough? Will it be worded correctly? Is it even worth pursuing? Can I actually see it through? The answers differ from day to day and I doubt a great many things but I also do not want to quit on the journey. I have no intentions of making any money on this. I simply want to see if I can complete the task. It would be an added bonus if a couple of people would take the time to read it and, dare I dream, enjoy it.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Some of my inspiration comes in the form of dreams and some by simply watching and listening to the human condition. Observing others and their actions is something I can't help but notice. I am trying to inject my thoughts, beliefs, dreams and feelings in to the story while making it as fictional as possible. I don't want to put too much of myself within the pages but at every turn, it feels like it is following my imagined timeline of things to come. I suppose I'll just keep writing and see where it goes.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I will be traveling west for a much needed vacation so finding time to write over the next week will be difficult. I am going to make an attempt to sandwich some blog time in between golf, enjoying some craft beer and checking out local attractions. My family and I are headed to Hot Springs, AR. We frequent the area and enjoy the southern hospitality. The rat race north is tiresome. The yearly reset is always welcome.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I will leave you with a musical piece performed by Ben Folds. Mr. Folds is a personal favorite of mine and the video below contains the chorus that began this post. He is an unbelievable storyteller. </p><p style="text-align: center;">I do hope you enjoy. </p><p style="text-align: center;">Be well friends.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jaBZzYkqfIo" width="320" youtube-src-id="jaBZzYkqfIo"></iframe></p><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-13414998581360198262023-07-06T23:30:00.000-04:002023-07-06T23:30:11.319-04:00Insecure Writer's Support Group - July 5, 2023<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiou0TQ9H8oCD9I3fkkb1ShAXSzAO4nLM0RiYv_g2TfxmuijcJ0iaOkiI77o6DaUB7q4rt5PIeH0IvNg2_fKWYHBDfc3QFcG0KC-MTVR3CWb3aVdFzoQuxgsJP9UKuohRkAWm0qp9MEWA04kdBvZio8EXWWNh4sUKfmWsK-CeMi3reDR0BGpjVQ47ARxYY" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="918" data-original-width="932" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiou0TQ9H8oCD9I3fkkb1ShAXSzAO4nLM0RiYv_g2TfxmuijcJ0iaOkiI77o6DaUB7q4rt5PIeH0IvNg2_fKWYHBDfc3QFcG0KC-MTVR3CWb3aVdFzoQuxgsJP9UKuohRkAWm0qp9MEWA04kdBvZio8EXWWNh4sUKfmWsK-CeMi3reDR0BGpjVQ47ARxYY" width="244" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p style="text-align: center;">I wanted to begin by extending a thank you to <a href="https://www.alexjcavanaugh.com/">Alex</a> and all of the co-hosts for supporting us all. I appreciate the words of encouragement from each of you that have taken the time to stop in and join me in this journey. I have learned a great many things by simply reading posts from some of you that are a part of this group. I have not made all of the rounds yet but plan to as soon as time permits.</p><p style="text-align: center;">It has been a minute since I have posted and for that, I apologize. Life has been busy. So many things going on and what seems to be so little time. I'll be traveling this weekend but wanted to at least partake in the Insecure Writer's Support Group blog hop before I ventured out.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I'll fill you all in with the happenings lately but it will have to wait for a few more days.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><i>July 5th question - 99% of my story ideas come from dreams. Where do yours come from?</i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;">Most of the Habitual Hobbit is centered around life. I like to share my trials, as it is therapeutic for me to do so. My hope is that someone will read this and see that life, even through the struggle, can be beautiful. I have not seen much beauty lately but I know it is only a matter of time before things start looking up. I have decided that quite simply, I cannot do this life alone. It takes a village. My family has been such a blessing. They are always whispering in my ear. Reassuring me that I have so much to look forward to and, it is starting to soak in.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I am starting from scratch again. I am finding my way back into a relationship with God. I have rekindled my love for the truth that can be found by studying The Gospels. All else is temporary.</p><p style="text-align: center;">As far as my story idea? That came to me in a dream. I remember it vividly. A couple of hours of rest supplied me with so many ideas. I simply could not keep up with my own thoughts. On occasion, I remember something that I believed was long forgotten and I quickly jot it down in an attempt to go back to it at some point, where it will hopefully fit into the story. If, that is, I can get it off of the ground!</p><p style="text-align: center;">I hope this finds you well. Thanks for stopping in.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Shalom</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-91424174300461001802023-06-14T09:41:00.001-04:002023-06-15T12:29:53.007-04:00The Noise<p style="text-align: center;"><b><i> "There is more to life, than increasing it's speed." - Gandhi</i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;">I must remind myself of this quote on a daily basis.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Currently, I find myself wanting to get things completed quickly. I want closure to the past so I can get on with living in the present and maybe even plan some things for the future. I am in a rush to change my current circumstances and feel that things are simply, not moving quickly enough. I regularly forget that life is a marathon, not a sprint. I should be relishing my time here and not concern myself with the speed of things. This is new for me, as in the past, I had no comprehension of time. I simply did not care, for the most part, on completing tasks. This new found motivation is killing me.</p><p style="text-align: center;">It's time to slow down and allow things to unravel at their own speed.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"Ups and downs in life are very important to keep us going, because a straight line even in an ECG means we are not alive." - Ratan Tata</i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;">The passing month's have truly been a rollercoaster ride filled with ups and downs. Lately, I have digested the many changes that have taken place and it has been a lot to take in and I am wearing thin. I experience a slight reprieve when I lay to rest at night. As contradicting as this may seem, listening to music as I prepare myself for rest helps block the outside noise. It helps me reset. Hearing what is being conveyed through song is my attempt to drown out the noise of everyday life. I am still. I allow these words to latch on and take me somewhere far away. It is how I choose to unwind after a long, stressful day. I find that the rollercoaster becomes a flat, straight road, out in the middle of nowhere and I am the only living vessel on it. I imagine the stars overhead. A cool wind swirling past my face as I drift off to sleep. I yearn for that feeling every single evening. I can simply "escape" the daily grind. I am finally at peace, even it only lasts for a couple of hours.</p><p style="text-align: center;">The world is filled with noise. It is an assault on my senses, at times. The constant ringing of telephones, the annoying little bong that notifies me of an incoming email. The mashing of keyboards. The sound of a rickety air conditioner trying to keep the building cool. The discussions of twenty-somethings, complaining about how life is unfair. Every person I speak to has a problem. It is draining. That is my work day in a nutshell.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Music and writing are my retreat and both allow my mind an opportunity to heal.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><b>"Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul." - Marcus Aurelius</b></i></p><p style="text-align: center;">I have found that I am most relaxed when I dive inward for brief moments during my day. My thoughts and ambitions have clarity. The noise simply fades away and I am alone. I am able to sift through the emotions and the craziness surrounding me. Those short spans of time help me navigate my world.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>Like A Stone - Audioslave</b></p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7QU1nvuxaMA" width="320" youtube-src-id="7QU1nvuxaMA"></iframe></div><br /><b><br /></b><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-90422648521400315422023-06-08T08:24:00.003-04:002023-06-08T11:45:10.755-04:00Insecure Writers Support Group - June 7, 2023<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjgOGiKqjEI00H0sqBxbmPBnF3ytrwxn5thpmm_v5WydI9kVDdYgUOMBWZ6mJTkZRGakRlgXfDxSRfz5PtyZQO8P4rBE82NbEDDxsSD2lhDK8agTlivwule89cKhvbDF4PnMNiXSieU0i8CnJUZWNq8je8Gq0te8guk4FCDb9zn0Dsf2HjOMHuLVRrT" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="918" data-original-width="932" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjgOGiKqjEI00H0sqBxbmPBnF3ytrwxn5thpmm_v5WydI9kVDdYgUOMBWZ6mJTkZRGakRlgXfDxSRfz5PtyZQO8P4rBE82NbEDDxsSD2lhDK8agTlivwule89cKhvbDF4PnMNiXSieU0i8CnJUZWNq8je8Gq0te8guk4FCDb9zn0Dsf2HjOMHuLVRrT" width="244" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Hello all and welcome.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Thanks to <a href="https://www.alexjcavanaugh.com/">Alex </a>for accepting me into <a href="https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/p/iwsg-sign-up.html">IWSG</a>. I will admit first, I am no writer. I do not have any published pieces and I doubt my ideas at every turn. I am educated but not in the vein of literature, writing, storytelling, etc. I am a technical mind. I post for my own mental health. My hope is that I can touch someone else caught in the throws of mental illness. Maybe even allow them to see that life always has a silver lining, regardless of their current circumstances. I have kicked ideas around in the past pertaining to a short story but I simply cannot get it off of the ground. My hope is that I will find motivation reading the stories of those that are part of this group and with that, become more determined to finish what I started.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Before I proceed, I would like to reintroduce myself.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The name is Nate. I began this blog many years ago and used it as a safe place to dump my mental baggage. After a couple years of posting frequently, I got lost in myself and stopped posting all together.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I will not bore you with the details here but if you feel so inclined, you can catch up by checking out a few posts. I have deleted all of the old material and redesigned this new incarnation of the page in hopes of experiencing a new beginning. I will likely be rehashing some of the older material but with an added twist.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>June 7 question - If you ever did stop writing, what would you replace it with?</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It was not long ago. I remember it well. I spent a good deal of time golfing and spending time with family and friends. I would look in from time to time but couldn't bring myself to post. I have experienced a great many things over the years and that is the reasoning for my return. I have more resolve and hope to post on a regular basis. I also want to finish something that I started long ago. I began writing what would be considered a "short story" entitled The War West. I lost focus and dumped the idea but have since found new motivation. It is still in it's infancy and I am currently all over the board with where it is going but as the ideas swirl, I find a little bit of footing here and there. I will be looking in on as many blogs as I can that pertain to this group for inspiration, so my hope is to find new relationships and support those who have published pieces already. Reading is a new found joy and I look forward to immersing myself in the triumphs of others. Maybe, if things come together, I can finally finish my story.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">As always, I'll leave you with a musical ending. Music and writing alike can stir so much emotion and quite frankly, I have forgotten how important they are to me. I am beginning to reacquaint myself to those things that I had lost track of so long ago. I thank you for your time if you happen along this page. Be well and live happily.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Hanginaround - Counting Crows</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ARiiO_41Id8" width="320" youtube-src-id="ARiiO_41Id8"></iframe></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-81459461655415152832023-05-25T10:25:00.044-04:002023-05-25T14:44:29.354-04:00I Stand Alone<div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>"Let yourself be gutted. Let it open you. Start here." - Cheryl Strayed</b></i></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I'll begin by admitting that I am normally not one to openly share my personal experiences with anyone outside of my little circle of trusted family and friends. This blog is in direct violation to my internal will to keep things locked away but I have to continually remind myself of the reason why I started this ten years ago. I needed a space to rid my mind of the intrusive thoughts so I didn't end up in a straight jacket, muttering sweet nothings to an imaginary friend in padded room. I search out comfort, just not the "padded cell" type of comfort.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The material since my return has been dark in nature. It is the ugly truth surrounding my life currently and as soon as the thoughts and words are out, things around here will lighten in nature and I will be free to bare my soul in a different, much more constructive way. This is necessary now.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Five Stages of Grief In Divorce</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;">1. Denial</div><div style="text-align: center;">Simply put, there was no denying this split. It was long overdue and in fact, we put it off for far too long. The reasons may have been different for each of us but they all culminated in the current agreement to go are separate ways, and to do so amicably.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">3. Bargaining</div><div style="text-align: center;">Again, there was none of this. We both concluded that this was necessary and the only real decisions that we needed to make were (A) Are attorneys going to get involved? (B) Do we agree to file no-contest and split everything 50/50? (C) Will I and my family have free reign to see my daughter whenever we/she chooses?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">4. Depression</div><div style="text-align: center;">Ah yes. My old friend. I know you so well. And yes, I experienced depression but it is an old shoe.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I have felt depression and anxiety in some capacity for a very long time. Probably beginning in my early teens, I suspect.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">5. Acceptance</div><div style="text-align: center;">There was a palpable amount of tension in at home. On occasion, we would find breathing room but it was short lived. It was affecting every aspect of life and it was evident, we could not bear it any longer. A necessary, albeit, painful choice had to me made. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">2. Anger</div><div style="text-align: center;">While reading through this, you may have noticed that I skipped number two. It was purposeful. The order as you see it is my experience. The anger came later.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Through this process, I have had an ample amount of time to sit and think unhindered. I simply could not feel anything when taking meds. Demeaning things were said in the past and it normally went in one ear and got caught up with the rest of the fuzz. I never acted on any of this shit because it didn't register. Now, it registers and I am very aware. Even during this journey of renewed life and purpose, I still combat anger. I am not angry every waking second but at times, I remember something from the past and the anger intensifies. After a short time, I am able to free myself from it mostly, but it still lingers. The day is coming though, a day when the hurt and sting will have no place in my thinking. I will be free to forgive. The anger will simply dissipate with nothing more than a whimper. On that day, I will truly be free.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"You take power back by letting people go." - Emma Xu</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i> </i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;">This post was short and to the point. My intentions are to never offend. I am here to empower my own thought process, not to drag anyone down. It is honest and it is painful, rehashing all of these feelings and buried emotions but it is absolutely necessary for me to move forward confidently.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">This musical piece has been my new found mantra. Believe me, I am not alone. I have a wonderful support system in place but this still strikes a nerve when I hear it.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I Stand Alone - Godsmack</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/OYjZK_6i37M" width="320" youtube-src-id="OYjZK_6i37M"></iframe></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-28617408321940716702023-05-17T20:56:00.002-04:002023-05-17T21:00:41.406-04:00Send The Pain Below<p style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"Drugs take you to hell, disguised as heaven." - Donald Lyn Frost</i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;">For years, I hid my true self. I locked away all of my dreams and aspirations. I settled in many ways and if it was anything, it was comfortable. I did/do not like excessive amounts of drama. I like my world cozy and with as little conflict as possible. I was prescribed medication to curb the emotional rollercoaster I was on and it did work as intended but like many things, having too much of some things ends up being the wrong thing. You form a routine and naturally that routine becomes a part of your norm. The meds were supposed to get me past the hump and in time, I would be weened from them and I would learn techniques to combat the obsessive thoughts by using good old fashioned brain power, exercise to help brain function and to get back on the rails of positive thinking habits. But, as I dove deeper into the rabbit hole, the medication took on a life of it's own. I needed it for stability and the thought of living free from it gave me a great deal of, you guessed it, anxiety. All of the research, all of the books, the articles, the testimonies, family encouragement, etc. was supposed to empower but it simply did not work for me. Like any addict, I convinced myself that I could not function without it. So, I continued to pop pills and I did so on a fairly extensive regiment. Lithium, Abilify, Flufoxamine, Zoloft and Ativan. You name it, I was currently taking it or had taken it at one time and I was unaware of the repercussions that using for so long would have on my being. It changed me. I was no longer me. I was lost internally and I wasn't even aware.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"Addiction is the only prison where the locks are on the inside." Unknown</i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;">That is truth. No matter how hard my loved ones pushed for change, I was simply not able, or at least, I believed I was not able. I just kept slipping deeper and deeper into a very dark place. I was not living at all. I shut the door on most everyone and in time, I ended up exactly where I am today. The only thing that was going to save me was painful and drastic change. </p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"Fall seven times, stand up eight." Japanese Proverb</i></b></p><p style="text-align: center;">I have heard this quote before and in truth, it did not motivate me until now. I can happily say that I am free of medication. I decided to ween myself off of everything. I was tired of feeling nothing. I wanted to feel again. I am an emotional being. I sob when things go horribly wrong. I have been known to tear up a bit when I experience an abundance of joy and I am okay with that. Feeling things again is going to take some getting used to but I want it badly. I want to experience pain again, as well as true joy and I am done telling myself that I need chemicals to make happiness happen. </p><p style="text-align: center;">Over the past couple of weeks, I have rekindled my passion for things. I am sensitive but I will not allow someone to tip toe around me. I am gaining strength on a daily basis and it feels so good to feel again. I will get knocked down, I am sure, but no one person will destroy me and yes, I will get back up. </p><p style="text-align: center;">I do hope that if you happen across this blog that you find strength if you need it. I have spent the last fifteen years pushing the pain down and not out. It is now time to take back myself and let the chips fall where they may. </p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gpyRI1j9t6c" width="320" youtube-src-id="gpyRI1j9t6c"></iframe></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7518208265580174250.post-39540471911625877202023-05-09T16:41:00.006-04:002023-05-23T15:39:15.840-04:00Change<div style="text-align: center;"><b>“Nothing endures but change.” ― Heraclitus</b> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> It isn't a mystery. We all change over time. Some of the time, change is for the better but, in my experience, it is normally not welcome.
I don't tolerate change very well. Even the slightest change can alter the delicate line I walk. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Emphasis on the word obsessive. I get something stuck in my mind and in turn, will obsess over it until I break or it breaks. Usually, depending on the severity of the issue, I
break first. As a side effect, I experience a great deal of anxiety.
With the help of therapy and meds, I am able to fend off most of the anxiety attacks. I have researched OCD a great deal and over time, I have figured out bits
and pieces of different techniques that aid in calming me down.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> The big stuff though...That is tough.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> The year 2022 can kiss off.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> February 2022, we lost my mom unexpectedly.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> September 2022, we lost my mother in law unexpectedly.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Both had some health concerns but they were not stricken with anything that had us on alert.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> A shock to the system for all of us.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I looked up to both women for different reasons. My mother was stubborn to a fault but taught me how to love unconditionally. She loved her family that way. She loved my sisters and I, my dad, her grandchildren, my wife and the rest of our relatives with her whole heart.</div><div style="text-align: center;">My sisters and I were fortunate to have lived long lives with her at our side. She fought for us fearlessly, even when we were wrong.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">My mother in law was an unbelievably strong person. She had seen her fair share of this ugly world and through it all, she never wavered in her faith that God's promises to us all would be fulfilled in time. Even our wrong doings, our faults and our sins would be wiped clean from the slate at the end. She still found a way to accept me even when I was at my worst.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I miss these two women dearly.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>"I don't know that love changes. People change. Circumstances change." - Nicholas Sparks</b> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Let's move forward a touch, shall we?
The year 2023. And like 2022, it can go to hell also.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">My wife and I had a good run but in the end, I was simply not able to change and grow enough.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">For twenty one years and some change, we were able to hold it together but it just fell apart over time.</div><div style="text-align: center;">We have made the decision to move forward but not with each other.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">"All you need is love!" </div><div style="text-align: center;">The Beatles had it wrong.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">You also need structure, stability and have the ability to be open with those with whom you care deeply. I had the love part in check but the rest was difficult and it may have been my undoing.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> Sometimes, it's just not enough. Sometimes, one or both parties just get to the point where they have had to fight too hard and they grow too weary to continue on.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Years of locking myself up internally and not being available to her had finally taken a toll that was unrepairable. I'll live with that for the remainder of this life. My focus now is to build a stronger mind. One that can withstand the hardships that can spring up during life and support and nurture a future relationship, if I am meant to have one.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The best experience to come out of our relationship is the birth of our baby girl. I never knew what real joy was until she came into my life. Now, I have an opportunity to reconnect with her after so many years of being distant. I am fully engaged and willing to be the daddy she needs now.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I still have a few tethers holding me in place and she is one of them.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">It has been a long while since I have posted on this platform and I do look forward to posting again, as I find it very therapeutic. It is a place to loose some of the thoughts that rattle around upstairs. I also enjoy the relationships I build with other bloggers. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">For the most part, I try to end many of my posts with a musical number related to the post material and this will be no different. I have chosen an oldie but goodie, as it pertains to my current situation completely. I hope it gives you hope if your down or adds to an already decent day if your up. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Be well.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Change - Blind Melon</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mp5kSoiTcVQ" width="320" youtube-src-id="mp5kSoiTcVQ"></iframe></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>ibhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09966859360295574831noreply@blogger.com2Indiana, USA40.5512165 -85.60236429999999112.240982663821157 -120.75861429999999 68.861450336178848 -50.446114299999991