Saturday, June 23, 2012

Eternal Spamnation

I love SPAM. Not the meat-ish substance found in the canned goods aisle of your local grocer, but the kind that is filed away in it's own, cozy, blocked and locked folder that be provided to you on the home page of your chosen email service. I have often wondered if SPAMMING actually increases revenues for the chaps that are advertising their crap in this manner. If so, how much loot does it bring in? For reals. Not that I wouldn't love to own a gas powered Pogo stick, add four inches to my ho piece and/or learn how to speak Swahili using the Pimsleur learning method, but damn, isn't there a better way to go about pimping your product?  The world is chalk full of shady salespeople, scams and junk you don't need. I see it on the daily.

So, I found myself cleaning out my email folders of the old, in an attempt to make my life more organized and along came the good old SPAM folder. It hadn't been emptied for a month or so, so in it, I had accumulated a nice little collection of cyber vomit and figured that sharing some of with you would be a great way to reenter the blogging business. Here are a couple that struck me as ODD/FUNNY/RIDICULOUS/ETC.

(Insert cheesy porn music here: BOW CHICKA, CHICKA BOW WOW)
Sweet, right?
Disclaimer: Be sure to remember that, no one scene, can exceed four hours. If so, there will be trouble a' brewing down yonder.


Since when did wealthy, attractive young men and women start having dating problems? and why did they choose the douche bag wearing an ascot to feature on their ad campaign?

These are just a few of hundreds of advertising genius filling my SPAM box on the daily. 

Monday, June 04, 2012

The Show Must Go On

Hey there strangers! Been a long while and I am fully aware of my absence. I took some time away from here because I was simply, not very inspired. There is nothing wrong with me, at least, nothing NEW. I have not won a lottery, died, moved, found employment, taken to eating people in the greater Miami area or gone on a shooting rampage. I am still the same old hobbit, with the same twisted view of the world we live in. I am the same old tool with the same dislike for a large majority of mankind, albeit more so than before. NOPE. I just got really bored, for a really long time.

I missed the banter between fellow bloggers, but could not find inspiration to log in and saddle up.

The last time I posted was during the A to Z challenge. I apologize for not finishing, reading, commenting on any of you that had the gusto to complete it. My hat's off. But, as I still find myself in a rut, I've decided to put more time into this thing. Just don't expect any direction or coherent conversation for a while. Not that you did before, I'm just saying.

So, as they say in the carnival, "The show must go on." I'm going to take a few days and catch up with my peeps and God willing, find something to inspire me to begin posting again, but I felt that I needed warn you all first.