Saturday, September 25, 2010

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Dave & Defeating Doubt

I must begin by apologizing to those of you that follow this blog. I have no excuses for my lack of postage. One would assume that regular posting would be a normal occurrence for one who has been medically diagnosed with having O.C.D., but as you are all aware, I can be an obsessive slacker, and for that, I blame the Cleveland Browns. The way I see it, is if the Browns can quit playing before the final gun, I can go a week without posting.
Okay, so maybe that excuse is bunk. Just because the Browns give up the booty every week, does not admonish me from my civil duty to post more frequently.
For those of you who do not have an elephant's memory, I was dealing with a bout of depression during my last post and for the most part, I feel better, but there is still something that I can't shake. I will admit, that my faith has been lacking and I believe that the majority of my anxiety is because of it. My wife and daughter stayed the night with Nana last night, so after I got off of work, I had the house all to myself. Finally, a full night of sleep in my own bed. And boy, I needed it. (After proofreading, I must add that it is not my wife that requests me to sleep on the couch. That would be my daughter. She kicks me to the curb, so she can sleep with mommy. That's cool though, as it is all part of being a daddy, I suppose. I am also a gamer and find it hard to rest until I get my Darts fix on Game Point.
Now, some of you are wondering who this Dave is, and why he is in this posts title.
Dave DeSelm is the Teaching Pastor at the Church that my wife and I attend. He is an engaging preacher and it is when life seems to be getting the best of me, Dave seems to find a way to hit me smack dab in the tenders with his lessons. Staying true to form, he hit his target yet again this morning. I didn't go to Church, but I did get on the web and watch the recorded version replay of the morning service. He might as well have been sitting in my family room, as it seemed that he was talking right to me, as is often the case. The lesson was about faith and how, even the most staunch believer, may at times during his/her walk, experience doubt. I will not try to summarize his lesson but the following link will get you there if you are interested in hearing it.

So, although I may be letting life's setbacks nip away at me, I choose to have faith in Jesus and the sacrifice he made at Calvary for You and I, so that we may be cleansed of our sins and dwell in His Father's Kingdom, when our days here on earth, are done. I pray that this finds you well.

Thanks for stopping in.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I Needz A Gandolf.

Hello all and welcome.

Today has been one of those days that I would do over if I could. It is possible that it may have been much worse and some might even scoff at me if I went into the details. And what's worse, I directed my frustration toward my baby girl and that is not acceptable. Coming to work does not help ease my stress, as I am surrounded my non believers that don't know the meaning of respect. I am putting it mildly, when I say that some of the people that I work with are ass's. I could rattle down the list of things that we do not have in common, but a post of the magnitude would involve more time and thought than I am willing to exert.

I know. It's not the way a man of faith is supposed to carry himself when the goings get tough. I try to lean on God's word for healing but, during trying times, my messiness gets in the way and I find it difficult to trust that He is with me and working through me. If anyone reads this, I ask that you say a quick prayer for me while I am sifting through the debris.


The fear and shame I am feeling during this new batch of "woe is me" may have me buckling, but I seem to always direct my attention to this picture when I am in need of some optimism. I pray that this finds you well.

Cristo Redentor or "Christ the Redeemer" is a statue of Jesus Christ on Corcovado, a mountain, located in Rio De Janiro, Brazil.

Monday, September 13, 2010

I Am Starting to Sense a Theme.....

So..I must begin by correcting my post from yesterday concerning my neighbors subtle way of mentoring his children. His child was not on the phone like earlier stated. He, along with four or five more of his siblings were sitting on the deck in front of him while he railed on them with four letter words. I was totally off when I said he was doing this over the phone. My bad !!
It also turns out that my optimism concerning the Browns was completely misguided and childish. I allowed myself to get excited, again, only to be Delhomme-inized. They played well through three quarters, but like The Baccalaureate, they gave up the booty inside the last ten minutes of the contest. I still have the Buckeyes, so life is not a total loserfest. I'm only three quarters of a loser. And what is worse, my dad is a homer too, so, if my math is right, and I know it is because I obsessively recheck it to leave no doubt, he has dealt with this heartbreak for close to fifty five years. On top of that, he fathered my sisters and I. That man is made of admantium, wolfie berserker style. 

What else, let's see. Hey, not sure if anyone was aware of this, but, the Cleveland Browns suck. Oh, I bad. If I could get the chance, I would so give Jake The Wuxi (Wu-she) Finger.  

I have also been reminded of why it is that I HATE the MEDIA. It started sometime ago but it really developed into a full fledged issue on 09-11. I was disgusted with the news media continuously replaying the scene. I can't imagine what it would have been like for an unfortunate family member of one of the victims. That is why I don't tune into the news much. I don't hide away from the on goings of this world but I try to limit my intake. Why subject myself to all of the evil in this world? I know it's there, I don't need to be shown the gory details in color corrected and enhanced in high def. Besides, I've got enough crap floating around in my brain. If I were to watch the news, it would be the same as throwing water on a grease fire. But I'm not bitter.

Enjoy The Skadoosh!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Let it Begin, LET IT BEGIN !!!!!!!

Hello and welcome!

It is a beautiful Sunday morning. The sun is shining, it's Week 1 of the NFL season, the Browns MAY be on the right track and I was privy to my neighbor lecturing his child over the phone. It was a productive lecture I am sure, complete with a plethora of various "f--- this", "f--- that", "you better get your f'in s--- together", "get your f'in grades up" and my personal favorite, "this is my house f'in house your f'in up and stealin' s--- from". Ah yes, a wonderful day indeed. 

Okay, minus the last part. I am thrilled that my daughter was inside. It has been twenty minutes and I can still here him fathering away. But, I football is here.

Yesterday was a splendid day. I played in a golf tournament with my Pa (which we won by the way) enjoyed all you can eat chicken from Kentucky Fried Chicken and caught the second half of THE Ohio State trouncing thug U, oh, I mean, U of Miami. A week's worth of the coach trash talking did nothing but piss off a Buckeye Nation and the team. And what do "the U" have to show for the trek to Columbus? A loss at The Shoe. Now, if only the Brownies can start the season with a win, all of Ohio and my family in Indiana will truly be on the proverbial cloud nine. Speaking of which, I wanted to ask if anyone could shed light on the illustration below. I'm off to drop of the kid at Grandma's house and then redirect auto to watch the game with the rest of the backers.

The above picture is a size comparison of man next to that of a Utahraptor of the late Cretaceous time period. I ask that you not look at the size difference between the two or the the sickle claw that is believed to be used to pierce vital organs of the Raptors victim. But, focus on the hand of the human. My question is one that I hope you help me in answering. Is the human waving as a gesture to say hello or has he noticed the large death machine closing in and knows that he is about to become dinner? Luckily, they favored Chinese, as the majority of fossils have been located in Asia.


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Sunday, September 05, 2010

A Humbled Hobbit

What? Two posts in one day? I know. It is not like me to do such an odd thing, but I felt that it was my duty to share this with the few people that have taken the time to read up on my meanderings.
And, away we go !!!
While farting around on Blogger, I have bumped into some really interesting blogs along the way. Some, that I wish I could "unsee" and some that I have really enjoyed. But, one in particular, 52 Weeks of Wordage, has peeked my curiosity while waking up a creative world that I had never fully tapped into. Stef, founder and CEO of the aformentioned blog, has a contest every week that offers up a stage for aspiring writers and dopes like me to share our stories, poems, etc. This is how it works. Every Monday, Stef post's a picture of her choosing and after you have studied it's contents, she asks that you submit your take on the picture. You can express it in the form of a song lyric, a poem, an excerpt of a book etc. Then, at a certain time the following Thursday or Friday, your time is up and entries are sent off to a knowledgable panel of judges, consisting of her family & friends, who then sift through each entry, pick out their favorite one's and pass them on to Stef for the final decision. The winners do not receive a cash prize or a trip to the Bahama's. Instead, you are awarded an honorable mention and access to share your creativity with the thousand or so people that follow her blog, and to me, that is worth much more than money. (Although, I could use some extra loot)
And the reason for this long winded post? I decided to enter a little piece of a story I had fathomed up some time ago, just for the sake of sharing something. Something that I would normally hide away to keep from garnering criticism. And it turns out, a few people like it enough to make mention of it. That is the big news. And, this is my oppurtunity to thank Stef for doing what she is doing. It makes a world of difference for the few that are inclined to keep their voices silent. (Below is my submission if you are interested in reading it)

She watched the long stretch of road while dad scurried about to replace the flat. It is an urban legend around these parts that the hills have eyes. Sissy sat there, still. I could feel the tension that she wrestled with. I could almost taste her fear.
I feel so useless here in this back seat, and my damn leg itches underneath this cast. It is chilly out here in this dead land "Sissy, the tire". As she turned to roll the spare toward dad, my attention was drawn to the road. A mile or so away, I saw him, arms spread wide, walking down the middle of this old stretch. You could almost see death rolling like waves behind him.
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It is time. O-H !!!!!

There is chill in the air this morning. The leaves have began the journey to the grass below. It is beginning to look, smell, feel, like Fall. This is my absolute, favorite time of year, for many reasons. But one reason stands out from the rest. Football. While growing up, my Dad made sure that I was into the sport. See, he grew up in Northeast Ohio. A Buckeye, A Brown. He played football in high school. That is just what kids did/do. Looking back, I wish I would have tried my hand at football but, it would be soccer that would consume a good amount of my time.

Thursday night, the college football season kicked off and saw my beloved Buckeyes beat the life out of Marshall, 45 - 7. Nice start to the season, now if only the Browns could get it rolling. There would be pandemonium in this household. Currently, the Bucks are ranked # 2 in division 1a behind 'Bama. Posts will get more intense as the season progresses and the games get more intense. This was just a ho hum game to shake off the cob webs.  The real season will begin next weekend when Miami shows face at The Shoe. 


Go Bucks.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Back AT iT.

Hello fellow blogger's and welcome back. The past few days have been a cornucopia, if you will, of the good and the not so good.

The Not So Good

Unfortunately, it's back to work for 8 straight. I am thankful to be gainfully employed, especially in the climate of today's job market (or lack thereof) but I wouldn't be a loyal employee if I was happy all of the time. My job is entirely dictated by the weather. If the weather is nice, I get paid to read. If the weather outside is frightful, my job is, well, frightful. Today, the weather is pretty decent so I can't complain but my 6 days off are supposed to allow me enough time to relax and recharge the batteries, right? Instead, my old friend O.C.D. reared it's ugly head and attempted to sabotage my hard earned time off. I say "tried to" because it wasn't all bad, but we will talk about the good stuff in a little more detail later. I'll just dwell on the bad stuff for now because that is what good little optimists do, right? The majority of my issues revolve around the financials and I will admit, I am an idiot when it comes to the handling of the monies responsibly. Until now, it has not been an issue of mine. I mean, I am no Donald Trump but I didn't have any real responsibility until I got hitched and bought a house. Add a little one into the mix a few years later and BAM, instant responsibility. Dad, if you read this, I admit it, you were wise and I was foolish. I should have listened to you. I am a dope. I confess.

Onto "The So Good"

Last week had it's normal messiness but in the middle of it all, there was a lot of beauty too. For example, my little lady made it through her first day of Preschool. And to make all the more awesome, she loved being there and was not afraid when Mom and I tip toed out of her classroom. It was somewhat bittersweet. My little girl is growing up, but all in all, it was a very cool thing to experience with her. Lately, she has been melting my heart into puddles of goo. She will walk up to me before I depart for work and will say, "daddy, you are my best boy". For me, it does not get any better than that. One of the unfortunate side effects of my O.C.D. is one where I convince myself that I am not doing the daddy/husband thing well enough. My wife, bless her soul, is always supportive when I'm having "one of those days" and always reinforces my thinking by telling me that I am doing a good job on both fronts.  
I also did what some would equate to the coming of the first horseman of the Apocalypse. I went outside and did yard work. I'm not talking pulling a weed or two here and there. I am talking all out, jumping into the bush and hedge trimming Rambo style. It made me feel like a man, man!!!! Arr, arr, arr, ar. My neighbor let me use his power tools and I must admit, I am somewhat shocked that this story did not end with me, lopping off a few fingers, requiring a visit to the local ER. But, I manned up and did the deed. I also got to hangout with a good buddy of mine and mow down a few terrorists. (Not really, PS3 Modern Warfare 2) but for a brief moment, I had you thinking I was a Navy Seal, didn't I?  Oh, I also made my first pot of iced coffee and it turned out well. Starbucks does not have anything on me. (Except for maybe, a few billion dollars) But I don't count that. On a side not, I just reread that last sentence and it reminded me of how white and dorky I have become. I used to be cool. I wonder what happened.
Here are a few funnies that I came across while perusing the inter web.