It has been a day short of two month's between posts and the (powers that be) heading up Blogger refuse to relieve me of the burden that this blog has pressed upon me. Maybe if I post something that resembles gibberish, they will conclude that I have indeed, lost my mind and take pity upon me. Or, maybe if I prove to them that I am a douche bag and possess no talent whatsoever, they will remove me for marring the ideal definition of good writing.
I know that some of you have remained loyal out of pity, and that is okay. Some of you remained engaged only to see my inevitable "blow out" concerning the world around me, and that is okay too.
Here are a few ideas that I have come up with in an attempt to make you leave me and this pathetic blog.....
Maybe you will leave if I admit to you, that I am.....
- More like Tim Tebow, and less like Stephan Hawking.
- Writing this post while brashly listening to and singing songs performed by The Crash Test Dummies.
- A fan of the show, Antique Roadshow.
- Against the airing of "The Bachelor" and "The Baccalaureate"
* My reasoning is simple. Any guy that signs up to be "The Bachelor" is not doing it because he is "looking for the one." He is doing it so he can tap multiple chicks per day and then watch as they fight like cats to prove that they are deserving of his affections. Every episode, he is then able to dismiss the clingy ones so he can continue to whore himself out in "publicly acceptable" format. While it sounds enticing, it is not for me. He will likely end up dying a single man. His marriage will fall apart because women may forgive here and there, but they never forget. Somewhere down the line, having slept with the other contestants will come back to haunt him. Word.
* This brings us to "The Baccalaureate."
My mom would have doubts about any woman I brought home because I won a game show.
What is going to take for you to leave?
"She said her visions were a bane in her life
She could not control them, they kept her up nights
I know what you're thinking, I haven't been drinking
She knew things that cut like a knife - and she said:
All the years that have come to pass
And all the years that shall be
I see here right before me."
Okay, you asked for it. In order for you to end this post, you have to LISTEN to the CRASH TEST DUMMIES. That will get er' done. Enjoy!!!!