Friday, July 13, 2012

Blah..........

Friends and followers know,
I have a few issues.

Snakes
I don't do snake. That pertains to any and all species of evildoer. I will admit that I am SOMEWHAT fascinated with them, but said fascination is only applicable if the serpent and I are separated by a certain type of glass, T.V. glass. Viewing them any other way is deemed unacceptable, and that includes dead.


Green Anaconda = OUT
Boa Constrictor = OF
Gaboon Viper = YOUR
Green Mamba = DAMNED 
????? = MIND
SATAN SPAWN
News Media
I.M.H.O., there is no need to search the "Things To Do" section of your local newspaper to find circus dates and times, as it performs daily at 7:00 a.m., Noon, 6:00 p.m. & 11:00 p.m. in most metropolitan areas. If you have cable, there is a cornucopia of craptastic news channels to choose from that recycle and replay "breaking news" stories at an otherworldly and rather nauseating rate.
Personally, my favorite thing about the news, not including the end of a broadcast, is the clever headlines that they come up with.




I do not know if these are real clippings, but I found them funny nonetheless.

Idiot Drivers


But, in the grand scheme of things, nothing nips my nuggets more than Yahoo's "Trending Now" section. It is not because it's a Yahoo thing, but rather, because it is a Yahoo thing. Take today, for example.

Number one on trending now is "Mom suing Justin Bieber"
Now, I must preface this by admitting my disdain for untalented hacks but why is this news? Aside from a few million confused teenage girls, who cares? Have we dived so far into the tank of worthlessness that people are tuning in to this most? Seriously?

And let's not forget the ongoing musings of Tom Cruise and his estranged wife, Katie Holmes. I do not blame Katie for her current issues, as she was likely unaware of how much of a quack Tom would become. Up to this day, I cannot, for the life of me, force myself to watch any movie that includes his name in the rolling of credits. I mean, he killed Goose, and that is unacceptable.

And then there is the brilliant piece on Harrison Ford and why he decided to get his ear pierced and another concerning the reason behind the ruling, that will allow only one vendor to sell french fries during the Olympics.

But, I digress.

8 comments:

Pickleope said...

"Nips my nuggets"? That's entering my lexicon. And yeah, Yahoo stories are the worst.

ib said...

Pickle, I am thrilled to enter your lexicon. I am a humbled hobbit.

Al Penwasser said...

I love seeing those headlines! And I've already learned "Great Googli Moogli" from Blogger. So, now I'm going to use "nips my nuggets."

Jennifer said...

We share very similar issues. I don't know if that is good or bad. My daughter is working in Disney World for the college program and she saw Tom Cruise and Suri in the park. I wasn't excited at all when she told me. Nor was I excited when I saw it on the news. Tom takes Suri to the water park. Who cares.

ib said...

Jenny, it's a good thing for us. Who cares about what others think. They are all wrong and are of questionable sanity and we know it. That is all that matters.

Joylene Nowell Butler said...

Nate, what a kewl blog. On that note, I think we may be related. Sorta. My husband sees a snake in the bush and will drive over it 15x back and forth until I get truck sick. This one time we (family) were watching a movie and #4 son flicked a black rubber strip into the air and it landed on his dad. Dad screamed and climbed up the back of the chair. The family almost died laughing. Poor man. Oh, he can't stand Tommy either. But I gotta tell you, if you get a chance to see Collateral with Jamie Foxx, do. It's a writer's paradise. Tom's the antagonist. You won't recognize him. Which means you can pretend he's not really TC.

I've also got a slight case of OCD. I can't stand it if all the food cans aren't facing outward. I also hate anything out of alignment. I can't take any wrinkles in the bed sheets. And the towels have to hang with their edges hidden. Other than that, I'm pretty normal.

Happy IWSG. It's great to meet you, and good luck with your blog!

Olive Twist!! said...

Dear Gentle Nate,

I'm so pleased to meet someone who shares my feelings about Tom Cruise. And serpents! Love your blog, and will visit again soon.

Peace and Grace,
Olive Twist

stacey said...

My, I agree about snakes and all Evildoers. It's been awhile, hope you are doing well!