Thursday, November 24, 2011

An Important Service Announcement.

We find ourselves standing upon the precipice, yet again, of another Black Friday. And as assuredly as there is a sun in the sky, there will also be news of a Black Friday trampling death or a gun related fatality born by an argument concerning ownership of the last copy of a signed collector's edition, Justin Bieber album. You know as well as I, that that poor troll is out there somewhere. He/she will get trampled under foot of an angry, deal hungry mob or get their card pulled by a Bieber loving banger, busting caps in a fit of rage.
If, by chance, you choose to brave the throng of serial shoppers, take heed and arm thy self by placing a .50 cal in the trunk of your car.

This has been a public service announcement. We will now return to your regularly scheduled, mind numbing static.


Al Penwasser said...

Those Beiberphiles make the Bloods and Crips look like the Girl Scouts and Salvation Army.

ib said...

No joke Al. I would rather be air dropped into the middle of South Central L.A. than the middle of one of his shows. Those kids would leave nothing more than a bloody nub. Savages. The whole lot of them.

Anonymous said...

Yep, you called it! Some lady went to jail in my local area for macing the people waiting ahead of her in line so she could be the first one through the door!

Way to go, Christmas Spirit!!

Pearson Report said...

That was excellent - thanks for the heads up! As a Canuck I'm not into the Black Friday freak show, but since I really, really, really want a signed copy of that little Beibershit I just might venture across the line taking life and limbs in hand and brave the throngs of mindless zombies looking for "the deal" of the decade!

Yikes...on second thought sharing the faux bear skin rug in front of my faux fireplace with my real dog will just do fine on this cold, rainy Saturday!

Great public service announcement, Ib!

Cheers, Jenny


Jennifer said...

Nothing awesome was happening in our stores on black friday morning. Maybe because they opened at 12 midnight and we didn't go until 4:30. I made my sister slam her cart into my cart a couple times and then try to steal something out of my cart just so it would feel like black friday:)

Caitlin said...

Hehe and this is exactly why I don't go out on Black Friday!

stacey said...

Sadly funny and so true. Well, I don't feel sad. But I'm also not shopping for Justin Beiber related items, either.