Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Humor Me.

I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with a few of my lovely followers, as they seem to get (somewhat) excited when I mention exposing, tattooing or shaking any part of my body that would otherwise remain covered. I mean, it startles my wife if I flash my man suit without a shielding for my building, so I have become somewhat used to awkward glances, people scampering away while covering their children's eyes and the law showing up at my stoop, requesting that I (not) flaunt my God given pieces/parts. ANYWHERE.

Don't get me wrong, I love you all so, but there isn't much sexy "round" this way, dig?

Yesterday was my last day of employment at the Deathstar. My boss asked me to come in to meet with "the Bob" for an exit interview (or as I deem it, a 'give me your fob and company I.D. so I can plant my foot firmly in your backside when kicking you out of the door for good.' meeting.) It was weird, even though I have known for a month or two that it was coming. It didn't dawn on me until I sat there with my ex boss and the company Gestapo that it was indeed, my last day. Put that whole, not having a job thing with the mortgage company blues and you have a perfect recipe for a mental Molotov cocktail. (Anxiety optional for those who really like getting a good bang for their buck.)

But, regardless of the aforementioned, albeit, impending doom, I will stay the course and overcome. If nothing else, I can always fall back on my incredibly "phenom" like, writing prowess. (Wink, wink.)

So, if anybody has a job opening in the 'washed up engineer' field or 'unproven and self depreciating writer' field, pass my lame name on. I am also accepting donations, Wal-Mart gift cards and/or socks filled with quarters for beating myself over the head with.

Be well minions, be well.






8 comments:

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Never meant to make you uncomfortable. What did I say?

Mynx said...

Oh it wasn't me was it? I adore you but would never want to make you uncomfortable.

So sorry about the job stuff. Sending positive energy that you will find something soon.

Sending non sexy hugs :)

Haven said...

I make a lot of people uncomfortable. It's kind of my job. In this case though I'm gonna go with "I didn't do it!"

ib said...

Ladies, ladies. One atta time. That was meant for humorous purposes only. I meant no foul. I am not uncomfortable with any of you. I was being self deprecating.

Daft, you did not make me uncomfortable, at all. Carnies make me uncomfortable. You make me smile.

Mynx, thank you. Hugs of any kind are excepted and encouraged these days. Lay em' on me.

Haven, is it wrong that you do not make me uncomfortable? Am I doing something wrong? Are you doing something wrong? Oh, the O.C.D. is killing me softly.

stacey said...

ok and I STILL think you totally need a tramp stamp!
I will if you will!
hehehee, wink wink....

sorry about the stupid sh!tty f^cking death star. I'm in a similar place. sORRY. IT Sucks.

hugs hugs hugs.

ib said...

It is called the Deathstar for a reason Stacey. The upper crust of the company works US to death and takes all of the credit. The one percenters should all be forced to scavenge off of the land like the rest of us. Maybe then, they would not be so curmudgeony.

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ib said...

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