Tuesday, October 11, 2011

5 Things I Think, 10-11-11

1. I (heart) coffee. I know. Ever since Starbucks began it's campaign for instituting a New World Order, everybody and their mother just "loves them some coffee." It's the best part of waking up, having Folgers or the cheaper, generic alternative in your cup. It is also a valid reason for one to tell that annoying chick at the front desk to keep her yap shut, at least until you have thrown back a cup or six. The alluring aroma of liquid goodness is like dangling a basketball sized chunk of crack in the face of a fiend is a welcomed friend, when I wake from my nightly slumber and open my eyes to another day in paradise.

2. It's official ladies and gentlemen, we are entering into, what can only be described as the earth's last days. The PROOF? In the pudding:
a. In an interview, Johnny Depp admits that, as an actor, he is over payed. (Uh, such an honest lad.)
b. It has been busted wide open. Even McDonald's Chicken Caesar Salad is bad for you. (Considering the amount of sodium in said salad, you might as well duct tape yourself to the front of a car and follow a salt truck with your mouth opened.)
c. Ricki Lake threatened to leave D.W.T.S. because she doesn't get it. She was quoted as spewing the following gem.

"I am going to have a breakdown. I just can't do it," Lake, 43, complained. "It's just very confusing for me. I am not getting it. I want to quit. Like, I totally want to quit -- and I am not a quitter."
d. The Detroit Lions are 5-0. On the flip side, the Buckeyes are 3-3. "Oh, the horror."
3. Sleep is underrated. I can say this now, with confidence, because I want more of it, and could get more of, but chose not to, for fear of losing "something."
4. Google and Yahoo may run more of your lives, than you think. Don't believe me? Click here. (If you have an extra nine minutes.)
5. As much stress, as it is for me to be a parent, it is worth it when my little girl says things like:
"Daddy, your my best boy." or,
"Daddy, I really like root beard floaties." or,
"Daddy, don't be scared, Jesus will protect you." or,
"Daddy, you have a big butt."
Let the good times roll, ya'll.


9 comments:

Haven said...

The Buckeyes are 3-3 is tragic! It makes me so very sad.

I'd say sleep is underrated but having been an insomniac for many, many years, I have to say, I just love curling up in my big comfy bed and falling into wild and crazy dreams. Go to bed!

Jennifer said...

Wow does you daughter not know you suffer from anxiety over your "Physical Prowess"? I heart coffee as well but do to my anxiety disorder I am not permitted to consume caffeine. Unless of course I just filled my xanax prescription and then its COFFEE time.

Pearson Report said...

Ahh...life with coffee...good; knowing actors are over-paid...even better; having your daughter tell you you're her best boy...priceless.

For everything else...there's McDonalds...and that yummy Chicken Caesar Salad!

Ib, my dear friend...this post rocks - I loved the DWTS bit - some people should get more sleep. (memo to Lake)

Cheers, Jenny

Al Penwasser said...

When I met the eventual Mrs. Penwasser, I made the following observations:
1. Her boobs (you really didn't expect me to lie, did you?)
2. Her blue eyes.
3. Her blond hair (which was dyed. But, by the time I found out, I was hooked).
4. The fact that she laughed at my jokes (sadly, after 26 years, the bloom on THAT rose has started to fade).
5. Her great personality (oh, crap! Is it too late to make that my number one?)
6. She owned a brand-new Camaro!
7. She had a job. While I was only an Italian Food Transportation Representative. At Dominos.
8. She loved to drink her coffee black.
Despite all else, it was #8 which sealed the deal. Okay. And the boobs.

Mynx said...

I heart coffee.
I heart you

I only go to McDonalds for the coffee. The rest of the menu scares me.

Your daughter is precious. Enjoy every moment

stacey said...

I LOVE COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Back in the day, when i received actual money for my work, I had a pretty us Starbucks habit going on....

LOVE it!
Hilarious post!

ib said...

Haven, tragic is such a small word to use while describing the current funk that THE Ohio State finds itself in today.

Jenny, I would say no, as she is only four, but I am certain that it is her goal to see me into a box before she is done.

Jenny P., I am starting to find that her saying the best boy thing is an easy way for her to weasel out of trouble. It melts my heart and she knows that.

Al, boobs would be a common first for most dudes, but not me. I just loved my wife's personality. (I just threw up in my own mouth a little bit.)

Mynxy, I heart you too. McD's menu is scary, and I will admit that my current "girth" issues are somewhat attributed to that crappy food. It could also have something to do with my lack of resolve. Wait, what

ib said...

Stacey, being paid actual monies as opposed to, say, Monopoly money is preferred. BUT, if Monopoly money was good at Starbucks, I'm going to Toys R Us and moving some inventory.

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