Thursday, September 15, 2011

Anyone Got Some Extra Lithium Lying Around?

Hello and welcome to the Habitual Hobbit. I am your host iB. Some of you may vaguely remember me from a blog that I ran in the past entitled, The Habitual Hobbit. Others may be new to the hobbit and in turn, I ask you to stay, poke around a little bit
(Record Scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatching)

This is iB's alter ego, ETAN WICKNERD, and if you do not remember him, then you will most likely remember me. I'm a loud mouthed curmudgeon from the other side of his Longitudinal Fissure and I don't give a fly
(Record Scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatching)

Mr. Wicknerd is "publicly challenged" and finds it hard to play with others, so please, do not mind him, as he is mostly bark and no bite. It was my intention to reintroduce myself to those of you that have only recently, stumbled onto the hobbit, and forgot that someone actually runs this thing. For those of you that are seasoned veterans, you are not surprised in the least bit for the dry spell and I would imagine that for most of you, it was a welcomed absence.

But, as they say in Follywood, "the show, must go on."
What they don't say is to go on even if you are at work but find yourself staring at monitors that don't change playing mine sweeper for hours on end because there is nothing else to do and there is only so much time that you can play with your phone until that becomes boring and you work by yourself because there is no reason to pay two people to be here to do absolutely nothing except stare at more monitors that don't change and conclude that there really is only so much one can do with his phone before that becomes stale and repetitive all the while knowing that it will not change because said company has informed the old companies employees that their services were no longer needed and that sometime in November they will be giving their walking papers

Happy Thanksgiving & Merry Christmas

Oh thank you for the wonderful and thoughtful holiday gift of unemployment my daughter was expecting a new car but I guess she will just have to wait until she is sixteen so that gives me twelve more years before I need worry about finding a job because my lovely wife has gained employment and may likely and unwillingly have become a sugar mama because overpaid enginerds with a ton of experience are

Like, Sooooooo Like, 1999

and therefore have been deemed obsolete and not needed kind of like black and white televisions that you just throw away without worrying about what it will do to the environment over time and why should you as it is only a little radiation and cadmium that oozes from the broken and leaky cathode ray tube that sits in a land fill for years on end ha ha not funny but I
bet you didn't know that your old TV sets leaked trace amounts of x-ray radiation so it's kind of like you have been administering you and your loved ones little tiny MRI's since you bought your first TV back in the day

(Inhaling Deeply, Exhaling Deeply)

because it is hard work rambling on like this without punctuation marks spaces page breaks and purposely omitting proper grammar because you are trying to get a point across stating that you are sorry for the long break and no I am not ill but have had a lot of stuff going on that has made it impossible not so much but good try to post over the past few days because I'm lazy he's lazy and cannot do two things at once because it causes me..........oh no, I've gone cross eyed, and I can't get up.
In short, I am here still, and so is Etan unfortunately and we semi promise to post/comment more often. So until then, be well. And please, don't expect much from us because this punk hobbit is messed up and lacks motivation something fierce.

I bid you As do I a good evening. a good evening sucka duck.

Enjoy a tune on us. It is not my favorite band, but the song title is fitting, if you take the context of this entire post, into consideration.


Natural One said...

I do, I'm dead serious too - it's not mine though - I swear

Mynx said...

scary bit is I was so happy to be reading your post that I didnt even notice the lack of punctuation etc until you mentioned it.

Could you explain the purpose of Minesweeper to me? That game bamboozles me.

Miss you hun, but you post when it is good for you. I am not going anywhere (and no need to apologise, I know real life can be pretty shitty at times)


ib said...

Natural, it's only natural for me to inquire as to why you have lithium, if it is not yours? Your response, I imagine, is something along the "none of your business, hobbit." lines.

Mynxy, Minesweeper has been created for one reason, and that is to fill in the down time at work. There is no fun to be had and one is not likely to rush home to play it, out of pure joy. I miss you all also and I need to get back into the fold. Thank you so much for your support. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your encouragment.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Thanx for popping by to visit today!

Vinny C said...

I actually didn't notice the lack of punctuation until I ran out of breath the first time (odd, since I wasn't reading out loud).

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Looking forward to your picks for the blogfest on Monday!

stacey said...

I'm so sorry for the shitty work situation, but you are still hilarious.
Those losers should be paying extra for wit like that.

ib said...

Daft, consider me your newest whipping boy. The pleasure is all on this side of the pond.

Vinny, typing it was a marathon in itself. I had to keep deleting punctuation marks to keep it flowing. OCD is a pain in the ars like that sometimes.

Alex, I cannot wait to share. I have it ready and waiting but I must ask that you don't get to anxious. I would hate for anyone to build up anticipation and be disappointed when it's all said and done.

Stacey, thanks. The hobbit is getting what he deserves. I am the wit behind that fake, and don't you forget it, baby. Etan out.

Jennifer said...

you are so funny. I completely feel your job pain as my job sucks.....but its a job so I don't want to complain too loudly!