Thursday, August 18, 2011

I'm Happy As A Pig In Excrement & Gangsta Dr. Suess



The last two weeks have been somewhat (trying) for the Hobbitzes. On the same day that my wife was offered a nursing position that she had been aggressively pursuing, I would arrive at my place of employment to find out that "your (my) position with the company is being eradicated, as the company has been forced to make the difficult decision, in it's best interest, to move in a different direction." This is not verbatim, but it is close enough. There are many colorful ways that I want to express my gratitude toward the company, but for now, I am going to remain silent. (i.e. allow my frustrations to crescendo, and then proceed to rip said company.) As if being laid off was not bad enough, you might as well add a root canal, a coming wisdom tooth removal, full time preschool (my daughter, not me) and the stress that comes along with combing Monster.com for employment when my field of "expertise" is already critically saturated with people that are much brighter than me. And, just for grins and giggles, add the O.C.D. and, viola, a steaming pile o' excrement that only a plumber could appreciate.

While in the midst of piecing this post together, I ran across a few things that reminded me of that saying that goes something like, "no matter (how bad) you think that you may have IT, there is always somebody that has IT worse." So, I digress....

Found at Yahoo News.....
The headlines read...

* it should be noted that the victim is fine. It was deemed a, non lethal-venomless bite, but experts were not able to verify the species of Satan spawn, as it wiggled it's way back down to the bowels of hell before it could be apprehended and tested. It is believed to be a bite from either, a garter snake(non-venomous) or a copperhead (venomous). (I, for one, am somewhat confused.)


* okay. Pardon me while I change my pants. I seemed to have peed a little, while laughing hysterically.


And now, a few more, quickly.
*there is no reason as to why I find the following headlines humorous, other than the simple fact that Yahoo used them as (headlines) to catch the attention of readers, like me.




and finally.....


We Will End With Song...albeit, not what you have come to expect from one that possesses such a, sophisticated musical pallet as I.
Enjoy.






6 comments:

Jessica Thompson said...

Haha loving it!

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

Where to start you got the sack that sucks you posted a catchy little song that was cool so all in all a good post you will find a better job.....

Shanda said...

I am so sorry you lost your job. I cannot believe you still have such a sense of humor after that, AND the root canal!
And...I didn't say I walked in the turtle pee!

Mynx said...

Im so sorry about the job thing and the dentist thing.

Did you see the story about the girl in Russia who was on the phone to her mum as she was eaten by bears?

Now anything has to be better than that

stacey said...

F-! that stupid company, their loss! I had the same experience 8 years ago which is what brought me to where I am now, which is still not sure if it's a curse or a blessing.

Hilarious rap!

Jennifer said...

Sorry about the job....that sucks. At least you have your awesome sense of humor to keep you....well somewhat sane...you know OCD and all.