Tuesday, August 16, 2011

5 Things, August 16th

1. Music is good for the soul. (Some of it, anyway. Marilyn Manson is NOT one of said musics.) There is (something) about rolling down your windows on a sun filled day, blaring a favorite tune that makes for a decent stress reliever on those days that life seems to be getting the best of you. Yesterday, while in the midst of a elongated stress bender, I jumped into the Dub, threw in Coheed & Cambria and headed to the Boarder for some family sustenance. As I drove, the stress's of my day seemed smaller and almost, manageable. I came to realize that they were of my own making, for the most part. Being obsessive and all, sometimes I have a difficult time shutting down the thinking cap.

2. Cars should be outfitted with bumper rails. It would help alleviate some tension, created by those of our species that find it difficult to keep eyes and mind on the task of driving like a human, and not a circus monkey. The roadways would likely be safer for one, but it would also allow you to vent road rage in constructive ways. For example, say you are behind a guy that is driving a Ferrari. Your stopped at a red, and then, as it has been known to do from time to time, the light turns green. Now, the turd in front of you is obviously on a cell phone because you can plainly see that no one else is in the passenger seat of his "hey, look at me. I'm a douche with a lot of disposable income, driving a car that is worth more than your life" talking with his hands and no one else is in the car with him. The light has been green for ten seconds and he has not moved but you continue to wait while he flaps his pedicured fingernails in an attempt to explain his point visually, to the other poor sap that is stuck on the other end of the call. You decide that this jag-off needs a nudge so you honk your horn. Just then, the light turns yellow, and he takes off. You, on the other hand, do not want run the light because there happens to be a squad car behind you. If the aforementioned bumper was installed, you could have given the douche a "nudge" in an attempt to make him aware of the fact that he is not the only damn person on the road and that, it is indeed, much easier to navigate the city, via automobile, if he were to remove his head from his ass.

3. If "The Cat In The Hat" ran for president, I would vote for him.

4. I was once offered a chance to take part in a documentary regarding Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Some of you may have seen or heard of the show. It airs on A & E and is entitled Obsessed. The program highlights people that have the "O" and matches them up with doctor's that specialize in the study of anxiety disorders. Over the span of twelve weeks, the patients are treated professionally while the camera's roll. I think it would have been interesting, to say the least, but I didn't want to involve my wife and daughter, so I decided not to participate.

5. Being a parent is difficult. Not that I thought it was a piece of cake before, but I also hadn't expected the ups and downs to be so, well, up and down. While my little lady is busy being four, not listening, not cleaning her room and not eating food, it is difficult for me to keep my temper at bay. This is a "me" problem and one that I would like to change, so if any of you parents have suggestions, I'm all ears. I want to enjoy this time in her life because in the, not so distant future, I will likely be locked in a white, padded cell, murmuring to myself and slobbering onto my pillow. That is, if I can't reign in some semblance of patience soon.



Diego Sousa said...

well, good luck on it! =)

Jennifer said...

Ahhhh a man after my own heart. I have met many a douchebag who thinks they are king of the road because of the car they drive. I wish for their immediate humiliation and failure. I have number 4 because of number 5.

stacey said...

Ok, I have very mixed and confused feelings now. I love music. And, I love Marilyn Manson. His music is filled with dark, rich poetry and comments on society that most people don't notice, I think.

The Cat in the Hat.... book or movie? Book, yes. Movie? I most certainly would not vote for him. My four year old watched that movie (thanks to a jerky former friend who loaned it to us) and started misbehaving. She would purposefully do bad things like hide my keys and lie about where they were and whether or not she took them. She would then say, "The Cat told me to do it!" to everything. I want to hurt that cat!

Four year olds. They don't listen. They don't pick up after themselves. They misbehave. They demand crap and sometimes so much so that you will give them anything just for them to stop. No one ever tells you how hard parenting is. My best mommy advice: liquid patience. If you aren't a drinker, become one.

ib said...

Diego, appreciate the vote of confidence, friend.


Stacey, do not be confused. I will admit, MM is talented, musically. I just do not care for his public persona. The Cat from books is what I am talking about. I have not seen the movie. I won't. I am a fan of the original stuff. I will start drinking, straight away. I need some rest.