Sunday, July 03, 2011


Ah yes. The fourth of July. A day to set aside, for Americans to celebrate the day that we became our own nation. We banned together with one common goal. Push the British out so that we could live under our own rule. The premise itself is one of good intention and I know that there a few people that celebrate for the original reasons as to why it started in the first place.

I admit, this is very pretty. But that is not what the schmuck down the street is displaying.
Now, I must admit, I am not a big fan. I am thankful for soldiers that lost their lives over the years and the soldiers that fought and came stateside unharmed. It's everything else that comes along with it. First and foremost, I cannot stand the constant launching of fireworks, that seem to start in April, but do not cease until sometime in September. I'm sorry, but if after July fifth, your still shooting bottle rockets into the night sky and chugging beers with your buddies, I need to tell you something. YOU ARE BEING FRIGGING ANNOYING, dig? There are days that are set aside for you to blow your load, and to do so legally. There are even extra law enforcement, fire departments and e.m.t.'s on the ready, so when Billy forgets to let go of the M-80 before it explodes, they are more likely to get there to save Billy's life. But after the fourth, your kind of on your own. Every year, it happens. Some meat head consumes one too many Zima's and explodes a firework in his hand, or even worse, hits a buddy in the ass, causing third degree burns. "But it sure was a hoot." And, after that, they will likely file a lawsuit against the manufacturer because the packaging did not say "do not shoot friend in ass."

The second thing that bothers me is the amount of money people put into this crap. If you have the dough, cool by me. But there are those that spend a paycheck because they want to be cool and out duel the neighbor. It just makes little sense to me.

O.k. The head transplant went very well. It was a tough decision though, having already done it once in the past. The doctors said that in time, the coloring of the new new body will eventually lighten on it's own. I do have the option to get it spray painted but, I have tempted fate too many times now. Two head transplants is enough. I will, however, miss playing with my own boobs.



Anonymous said...

Yes, I do think your new head transplant looks better than the last! Also, I feel the same way about September-February Christmases. I just think the materialism/commercialism can be a little ridiculous around the holidays.

Drake Sigar said...

I loathe fireworks especially because I keep an animal, and fireworks are basically a form of torture for them.

Mynx said...

I dont mind organised firework displays but the illegal ones the idiot neighbours set off totally piss me off.
I do like the "after photo" Maybe it is because you are clean shaven lol

ib said...

Liss, we share a brain. That is all I can say.

Drake, my cats would run and hide under our bed.

Mynx, see comment to Liss.

becca said...

it' called being a redneck and around these parts if you get drunk enough there always seems to be i good reason to shoot of fireworks. most days it's to celebrate the union of two cousins but that's only legal here in the south. oh and i definitely agree transplant went very well so can i have those boobs as your not needing them and i could use a little more. have a hapy fourth

Trooper Thorn said...

You can't blow up anything in Canada anymore it seems. Full government regulation for our own well being. Thank you Nanny State.

stacey said...

I love this post, even though I love fireworks, too... and my kids miss them now that we live in a godforsaken droughtridden dustbowl and they are all totally illegal. It is eerily quiet in a place where people actually respect the ban. It changes the sound of summer for us. It was so weird when we first moved here.
Anyway, great post!

Jennifer said...

Funny post! I agree with you ......somewhat. My neighbors have been setting off fireworks since Memorial Day and I feel like waiting until they leave for work breaking into their garage and stealing their arsenal. It's either that or move until october. However I do love a nice fireworks display. When done by a professional they are pretty awesome.

Jessica Thompson said...

Great post!

ib said...

Trooper. I dislike being told what is and what isn't good for me. Sometimes, we are treated like Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz, but at the end, no brain be given.

Stace, I like big fireworks. It's the dip down the street that buys so many pansy bottle rockets and whipper snappers that it takes the entire month of July for him to deplete his crap arsenal.

Jennifer, I do agree, only, I would break into said persons house, set them up to fire upon him, returning home from work, with the hopes of him realizing his mistake.

Jessica, How You Doin'? Thanks for stopping in and thanks for your kind words.

Shanda said...

The amount of money poured into fireworks bothers me too!