Monday, July 25, 2011

Centennial Achievement (Partie Deux)

As promised, here is the second round of questions for Jenny and Mynxy. Enjoy!

and Jenny's answers are in RED.

Remember, Mynx's answers are in Blue

Do you wake up or open your eyes first?

I don’t open my eyes until I have finished my first cup of coffee.

You’re making a broad assumption here that I actually sleep. When do you think all this mind-bending writing gets done, hmmm?
On those rare occasions when I do hit the hay I am lucky enough to start my coming out (of this drug induced sleep) phase with the rich and potent smell of freshly brewed coffee and sizzling bacon - all while my eyes are still closed. Only when the reality of yesterday’s burnt toast invades my nostrils do I open my eyes begrudgingly.

What happens to an irresistible force when it hits an immovable object?

May I refer you to my post about the container of wine being dropped (irresistible force) onto the docks (immovable object). My guess is it will usually end in tears and a massive insurance claim.

The irresistible force makes home-made pork rinds.
The cast...
Immovable object = a pork bellied stud, commonly called Mr. Couch Potato.
Irresistible force = his little missus, lookin’ all perdy in her colourful muumuu.
The scene set-up...
She’s telling him to come eat dinner; he’s not moving!
Muumuu mama introduces her meat tenderizer mallet to pork bellied potato. (I’m thinking this could’ve happened to Big Fat Cat)
Fade out scene…
Irresistible force becomes the new immovable object - remote in one hand, pork rind in the other.
This has block-buster “hit” written all over it!

Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

Because they really actually want to see what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object. (and watch you cry)

Eyes work independent of the brain and seek out cute little sexy objects to gaze upon thereby missing the more trivial objects, like that steel girder you are about to walk into on your construction site because little Miss Hot Pants caught that roving eye of yours. This is when your buddies chime in “heads up” so you’ll adjust your bulging eyes and clue into the fact that in less than a second you’re going to be decapitated if you don’t duck. Just saying…seen it happen...not pretty!

How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

Because everybody knows you can always squeeze the last bit of power out by continuing to bully the remote (plus those electronics try to fool us sometimes and we need to show them who is boss)

Have you been watching me? Cause I could swear I closed the curtains.
(unlike my buddy Drake, who doesn’t have curtains)
With all the technology out there you’d think by now they would have a built-in low battery indicator light on remotes - I mean really, is Viagra research that important! I’m sure most dudes would rather have a fully charged remote in their hand any day!

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it considered a success?

No, but it is a wonderful example for the sequel.

Is that like the one where if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?
Sounds like a good book, a worthy read and probably written to prove the point that you can succeed at failing; write 250,000 words about it and get fifteen minutes on Oprah because she likes plugging successful failures. Note to self: call “O” and arrange an interview!

Isn't it a little scary that a doctor's work is called practice?

Yes but they are going to keep right on practicing until you can read their writing and they actually start fixing people.

Practice make perfect! See, docs are always telling each other they are perfect, in fact god-like, and they revel and marvel at each others skills.
I imagine it’s quite a sight in the locker room before a big surgery - you know - the huddling, the butt smacks, the “I’ve got your back” words of encouragement.
Then as Doc Perfecto heads into the OR one of his team mates calls to him, ”Yo, Bob, this time don’t forget to remove the scalpel when you’re done.”
Always covering for each other...helps avoid malpractice!

What would you do if you were the last person on this earth?

Oh that’s a sad idea. But if I had the time, guess I would find a case of that really expensive red wine, the best chocolate still available and enjoy the quiet. Until I went stark raving mad.

I would start with a late afternoon cocktail; break a leg or two off the dining room table and light a fire; maybe take a slow stroll to the nearest gun shop (I will need to eat) and then settle in for a relaxing evening of listening to my heart beat! So good.
About a week into it I’ll be wrapping my head in aluminum foil and hoping the Mothership is in the neighbourhood. I have, after all, been expecting them for eons now...lazy assed aliens that they are!

And that, my friends, is how you get it done. Again, I say to thee, if you have not done so, please go to these ladies respective web sites and read up on some of their other musings. I'll even make it easy for you.

Thank you ladies.

And, in the spirit of why I do this blog stuff, tomorrow I will answer these questions in an extremely (O.C.D) sort of way, so if you find that there is nothing to do and bordem sets in, please come back, and I will finish this thing off, Hobbit Style !


Mynx said...

Whoo hooo first this time. Kinda spooky how Jenny and I have similar thoughts on the last question.

Thanks again, this has been so much fun

Pearson Report said...

So that ends my first official guest post stint!

Thanks ib for the opportunity - it was mega fun!

Hey, Mynx - great job! Sorry about the red wine breakage down under!

To everybody else...thanks for dropping by and taking a read - hope we made you laugh.

Linda G. said...

LOL! Great questions, and the answers are a hoot! Very nice, ladies. :)

Oilfield Trash said...

This was great!!!

Bouncin' Barb said...

No wonder why I adore you two ladies. You're too funny and both think alike! haha. Great fun on this joint venture.

ib said...

Mynx & Jenny, it isn't spooky. Brilliant minds think alike. Thanks for picking this up and running with it the way you both did. Hope you had lot's of fun. Again, I must say Thank You to both of you.

Linda, thanks for stopping by and supporting the ladies. I'm happy that you enjoyed it.

OT, thanks for stopping by.

Barb, they are adorable, aren't they? Thanks for coming hobbit side and supporting the ladies.

My Grama's Soul said...

Found you at Tracy's ..... glad I did. I LOVE QUERKY blogs!!! LOL LOL


Jumble Mash said...

Great questions and great answers everyone! Love it!

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

Loved it and the different answers to the questions was really cool, I really enjoyed this read.

ib said...

Grama, quirky lives here. Welcome and glad to have you aboard. Thank you.

Tress, thank you so much. Where have you been?

Jo-ann, thanks for checking it out. Those ladies are funny, aren't they.

Pickleope said...

Such a great idea. It's very cool to see the different takes on the questions. Well done to all in involved.

Odie Langley said...

You two are the best. I enjoyed every second of it and hope you will do it again before too long.

ib said...

Pickle, Odie, thanks for stopping in to read Mynx and Jenny. I'm happy that it was enjoyable. I will have them back for 200, if that day ever arrives.

Don said...

Sage answers to ponderous questions. Well done, everyone.