Saturday, May 14, 2011

(K) Stands For Kids.

Uh, did anyone else lose a Wednesday post? Just curious. The contents below were originally posted to Blogger on Wednesday. Today is Friday but it feels like it should be Wednesday because I find myself posting this again. On Friday. Which should not be confused with Wednesday because they are two completely different days, unless you post the same thing on both days, then you may indeed, confuse Friday with Wednesday.

I'd like to welcome a few unfortunate people that have stumbled upon this cat-ass-tro-fee, and decided to latch on and share in my misery. So, welcome to the The Habitual Hobbit, Mr. Beesler, KW, Sylvia, Melissa, Elizabeth and Leovi.

I imagine that if one were to ask any of my more seasoned followers to describe me and the contents of my blog, the words curmudgeon optimistic, below average intelligence, obsessive tidy and basket case easy going, would likely be uttered. That being said, I seem to gain followers more so when I am not posting anything. Should this concern me? Am I "that guy"? That would suck. Not as much as, say..........


but it would still suck.

Moving forward...................
Bruce, owner of J.A.D.I.P. , The Guy Book & dreamodeling has asked me to contribute a tidbit to The Guy Book, chronicling my experience throughout the entire process of becoming a dad. Below, is an excerpt from it and I figured that since you are all so totally tubular, you might be willing to give it a quick look see. Maybe even share your opinion, but be nice.

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Kids
Some want em', some don't. I grew up wanting to one day, be a daddy and eventually, I was blessed to be just that. On a cold December day, a month and a half ahead of schedule, my wife gave birth to our little girl. She was a tiny thing, weighting in at a stout 3 lbs. 11 oz. Dainty, is the word that one of her nurses would use to describe her. At first, I could not hold her and it was killing me. So, as I sat next to her, waiting, I thought about the entire journey from start to finish, and my story, as I remember it, is as follows..........

The Seal Team
During the first month, we had no idea a baby was brewing, so, it went by without incident. 
I must admit, I don’t remember much of the first few days after having found out that my wife and I had succeeded at getting knocked up. I remember "practicing" A LOT. So much, in fact, that at some point toward the day that my Seal team infiltrated the nest, it was starting to feel like a chore that did not warrant any allowance.

During the second month, my wife showed signs of having a somewhat, unstable, chemical transformation and what not, but I didn’t/don’t hold her accountable for her actions. There was some crying, and some laughing, followed by some more crying because she was laughing, But, I never witnessed her head spinning around and every morning upon waking up, my man piece was intact. No Bobbitt for this Hobbit. Mama was happy, and in turn, daddy was happy. 

3 comments:

Pearson Report said...

That was a great precursor to what will be a fantastic novel - a father's take on the journey of parenthood!

Loved it!

And...wow - dainty at 3 lbs is an understatement - that's "super dainty".

My girl was 3 weeks early and weighed in at 5lb.2oz and I thought that was teeny!
Funny thing is, now she is 5'9" tall!

Great post!
Cheers, Jenny

ib said...

Thanks Jenny. She is still a teeny little thing, but she makes up for the lack of size with an extremely large ego.

Pearson Report said...

That's cute - ego's are good if used right!

Cheers, Jenny