Thursday, March 10, 2011

W.F.W, Tele Tubbocalypse

Welcome to The Habitual Hobbit for all you newbies. That would include A Vapid Blonde, Deus Ex, Lance, Bo and Aimee.

Wednesday is special around these parts. Some have come to know it as hump day, others have labeled it Wee Bit or Wordless. I have decided t'go the Pixar route. (Please note, Pixar is in no way pimping this blog or any of it's entities (there are none) and cannot be held liable for anyone who attempts, and, God forbid, is successful when applying The Wushi Finger Hold) Also. (Please note, Pixar Legal Team, please do not sue me because I have blatently stole something that you have no doubt, registered with the U.S. Patent office. It was a last ditch effort on my part to lure in readers. I have nothing of value. Except for my soul. If you grabbed my ankles and flipped me upside down, you would only suffer a hernia for your trouble. My wife has my nuggets stowed away in her back pocket and my daughter has what's left of me, wiggled around her itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, pinky.)

But, on a positive note, I found someone that I can make fun of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Tele Tubbocolypse

Growing up, I learned of The Four Horseman of The Apocalypse and what they signified. But it was unclear as to when these four would start reigning death from the Heavens, that is, until now. For years now, they have been wreaking havoc on our children. They have grown themselves into a multi million dollar circle jerk of douchcanoery (thanks Sandra) while infecting our children's fragile, egg shell minds with fragmented sentences, ear shatteringly high pitched voices and dreams that one day, they too, could have a T.V. protruding from their stomach's.

But no longer will the wool be pulled over this sheep's eyes. No more LaLa, no more TinkyWinky, no more Poe, and finally, no more Dipsy. I'm hunting tubbies and I implore you all to do the same.

I admit, this is a little much, but it is a little weird.

9 comments:

becca said...

lol..wow i haven't seen teletubbies in for ever my litle brother use to love thos guys of course now he is all grown up but man what memories

bruce said...

great post as usual sir!

little cretins...

but you do know, according to one of those religious overzealots, the purple one is gay, right?

good on ya for figuring these guys out...

you will find that there is some element of evil in all kid shows...


that dora? WTH are her parents?

ib said...

Becca, I can't watch the show. It's creepy. That whole baby-sun thing is just wrong.

Bruce, the purple one is said to have carried a purse so, one could conclude that it was at the very least, metro. I will also note, the original colors for these pole smokers is purple, green, yellow and red. A "rainbow" perhaps. Dig?

HavenNyx said...

Oh dear stars... Telletubbies scare the {explitive} out of me. They're terrifying. I fully support a Down With Telletubbies movement.

Deus Ex Machina said...

It's been well over a decade since my two boogers were teletubby age, but even then I did not allow this clearly blatant attempt by our government to institutionalize the souls and minds of my offspring. Nope. I actually had a litany of bullshit TV I didn't allow. Blues Clues was fine because I had a crush on Steve. But mostly I only allowed anything by Rob Zombie or Wes Craven. All that Disney/PBS/Nickelodeon trash was blocked by parental controls.

ib said...

Haven, grab a gun. I can get my hands on a .50 cal. Lets move on this.

Machina, my daughter watches PBS and I'm okay with that. I grew up watching Curious George, Cat In The Hat. There will be no Teletubbies, no Barney, no Wiggles. Not in this house. I would not go so far as say, Rob Zombie cause I don't even watch that stuff, but it would be a hard decision between Nightmare On Elm Street or The Stinking Teletubbies.

Krissy said...

I have always thought they were creepy as hell. Who comes up with that stuff??

ChopperPapa said...

The teletubbies are the spawn seed of Satan, I'm pretty sure of it. Or they were back up singers for Michael Jackson.

HavenNyx said...

::gun in hand:: Let's go!