Sunday, December 05, 2010

My Angel (Sappy Dad Story)

Yesterday, my little girl celebrated her fourth birthday. I still cannot believe that she is four. I guess my dad was right when he told me that the time will fly by, and boy has it ever. Four years ago (actually on 12-12), I sat with the doctor while nurses prepared my wife for the impending emergency C-Section. She was twenty eight weeks along but began to experience Preeclampsia. Doc asked how I was doing. I shrugged my shoulders and told him that "I didn't know." He let a small chuckle slip before he added "I know the feeling." Being a father himself, he knew what I was experiencing. My mind was racing.

Will I be a good father?
Will I make enough money?
Will she always feel safe?
What color will her eyes be?

Maybe, she will be extremely bright, and in turn, be offered scholarships. The questions and wanderings kept on rolling in. Is my wife okay? I can't imagine what she is feeling right now. The silence was broken when the doc's pager chimed. "Well, you ready for this?" As if it mattered. This baby was coming no matter what my answer may have been. It was at this moment that I felt completely at the mercy of God.

The next two hours of that night would be the fastest moving two hours of my life. A few minutes after doc's pager blew up, he slapped his knees, looked at me and said, "well, you ready to meet your daughter, dad?" I began to sob. I don't know if I cried because I was afraid or if I just could not hold my excitement in any longer. Looking back, I would venture to say that it was a little bit of both. Doc and I said a quick prayer and headed for the door.

Upon entering the surgery area, I scrubbed my arms and hands, put on a cap and shuffled to where my wife, lay waiting. She was as calm as I had ever seen her. Yes, she was feeling nothing because of the anesthesia, but it was more than that. It calmed my nerves and put me in the mindset that I needed to be in. I asked her how she was feeling. She, while chattering her teeth, said "we'll see". Doc looked at us with that, here we go look, the nurses readied instruments, themselves and in the matter of minutes, I heard a whimper, and then my baby girl was whisked away to the N.I.C.U. At this point, panic set in, do I follow the nurses that have my daughter? Or, do I stay with my wife? She noticed my confusion and said, "baby, go with our daughter.", and the daddy instinct took over. I started heading toward the station that she was taken too but I was told to wait for them while they set her up on vents and feeding tubes. "What? Are you kidding me?" (No pun intended) It was then that I was met by my mom-in-law. I don't remember most of the finite details of the next forty five minutes or so. I remember walking into the lobby. Everybody stood up at the same time, waiting for me to say something. All I could muster was, "she is so beautiful" and then came the flood. I was a dad. Oh shat, I'M A DAD !

The next hour or so, I was busy shuffling family members in and out until they all had met the newest member of our clan. I remember all of these moments. The looks on faces. The words spoken, or the lack thereof. But what I remember most was my dad. He is a big softy but you would never know it. The Vietnam Vet/Ex Ohio State Highway Patrolman was trained to stay hardened. But, when my nephews were born and on this night, he gave himself a pass. He stood in amazement, looking at the three pound, eleven ounce bundle in front of him. He was afraid to touch her fragile little body. I saw a tear. He gave me a hug, took one last look at his grand daughter, and walked away. I began to tear up again. I can only pray that I will be as good a father as he is.

After two weeks in the N.I.C.U., December 26th, 2006, we brought baby home and Pop Pop finally got his first cuddle.


Jumble Mash said...

I'm choking back tears right now. What an amazing story. You sound like an awesome dad and your daughter and wife are very lucky.

ib said...

Thank you. You are too kind. My wife, who finds it hard to cry, loosed a few tears. I would consider myself the lucky one.

Dad said...

Awesome blog....there's nothing more frightening or rewarding than being a Dad!!!

ib said...

Ain't that the truth? Thanks for coming over. I like this little coup that I find myself part of. JM, Bruce, You, Mynx only to name a few.

stacey said...

Sweet! My four year old was born a month after yours!