Thursday, December 16, 2010

Brrrrrr. I Am The Center Of The Universe

It is freezing balls here in the Midwest. I walked outside this morning to move my car out of the driveway and could feel my lungs turning into crystal. I am usually not affected by temperature change, especially warm to cold but this air had bite. Currently, the temperature is 2 degrees/-8 with wind chill. I'll be staying in today.

Doesn't it make you feel all fuzzy and warm when, while reading a fellow bloggers post, you come across mention of your blog? This just happened a few nights ago while I was perusing J.A.D.I.P. Bruce is a cool dude that, if you have not already done so, click on the link and check out his blogs. Not only is he an active blogger, he also keeps up with all of blogs that he follows. I do believe that you will enjoy his bit of humor.

Yesterday was a shitty day. I started in on yet another "mental-woe-as-me" spat because of mass amounts of bills, personal stuff, four year old temper tantrums and just plain old boredom. And to make matters worse, my O.C.D. only feeds off of my misery to ensure that my brain crap grows springs and bounces around my brain until I am able to whack it. I know that God only gives us what we are able to stuff inside our little baskets of turmoil, but I just wish He didn't stretch the edges sometimes.

There is always a plethora of idiot holiday commuters that travel city to city like Carnies, just for Christmas shopping, And it is my firm belief that in between spring and the next winters first snow, a large majority of licences drivers forget snow is slick. I could not count the number of cars that were in a ditch on the side of the road. "People, Slow Down, Use Your Brain, if you can"

Speaking of Brains. Anyone like Zombies? It is my belief that there are reasons why certain foods and bad habits are pushed so hard in advertisements. It is because at some point not too far down the road,
 the years of smoking, drinking alcohol, eating McDonald's, Popeye's, White Castle and not being responsible for are own actions is going to end tragically for a good majority of our race. We are doing nothing more than embalming ourselves so that when the time comes, we will have already hardened our bodies and lost our minds. Obama will then make a deal with people that follow him. He will give all loyal subjects new Man Suits as compensation for their participation in a top secret project named, Zombie Squad. Since we have lost our minds, Obama promises that brains will be "plentiful" after the enemy is defeated.

The next morning you will wake up looking something like the guy in the picture to the right and Obama will have taken his true form, as illustrated in the picture to the left.

And to think that this could have all been stopped If I wasn't having such a shitty day. On a final note, I will off the pink fuzzy bunnies first because they are some tricky little bastards.

UPDATE: After my wife read this post, she said that it was confusing and "sporadic". And, after reading it again for myself, I wholeheartedly agree. I meant only to have fun and in no way purposely set out to confuse and/or scare anyone.


bruce said...


thanks for the props dude!

hope your day gets better...

and be thankful you are not a lions fan on top of all that other crap...

good post man, it made me smile...i had a craptacular day yesterday...

it must just be goin around!!!

bruce johnson jadip
stupid stuff i see and hear
The guy book
the guy book

ib said...

Aint no thang but a chicken wang Bruce. Crap days suck. But, I do think that your Lions, as well as my Browns are have a say in what happens next year. Things are looking up in both camps brah.

Sandra said...

Not scared. Being sporadic is allowed in blogland. If we weren't sporadic, what the hell would we have to write about?
Good job!

ib said...

Sandra, your too kind. It was the bi-product of the million or so thoughts racing around my head last night.

Dad said...

I like sporadic...and I'm glad I finally found your blog!!!