Friday, August 20, 2010

A New Beginning

Good evening and welcome to The Habitual Hobbit. I am your host, this is my blog, and you have somehow managed to stumble into my world and for that, I am grateful. Being that this is the initial post, it would be beneficial to us all if I began by filling you in on some of the less complex thinkings that bounce around my brain. 

The Habitual ?
We all have habits and hangups and after being diagnosed as having a mild case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, it just fit. Now, there are things that need be mentioned because people who have this disorder do not always have the same symptoms. Some people are more compulsive. They are the type that check locks, count straws, stack pills according to size, etc. Obsessive's like myself, have very few, if any compulsions but obsess about the most insignificant and meaningless meanderings of the human mind. A "normal" thought that most people would simply disregard may cause me a great deal of anxiety. I will sit and try to figure out why I had the thought. It snowballs from there and gains momentum, eventually turning a mole hill into a mountain. And all the while, I know that the thought is irrational and makes no sense. The anxiety is what bites the most and it hits hard and fast. And then all of the sudden, I become Jack's Atomic Anxiety Bomb. Guilt, fear, depression, all part of the cycle. I am learning to control the anxiety and what triggers it but I still have a lot of work to do. Sometimes I can see the humor in O.C.D., for example, when I dine out and French fries are part of my happy meal, I stack the fries together in piles according to length. Instead of looking at it as some weird  obsession or compulsion, look at it in this sense. All French fries want is to be with spuds that are their own size. I am the guy taking them home. And then I bite there heads off.

The Hobbit ?
The Hobbit part is in reference to my height. I am probably more average than I think I am but I do know that I am not a midget, they smell like cabbage. Plus, I am a fan of Tolkien and The Hobbit. I came to this conclusion after watching all three movies in their entirety. It is my belief that Frodo had some obsessive tendencies (The One Ring) and his anxiety level (when someone attempted to take his precious). Pippen & Merry obviously were suffering from some kind of mental impairment. And, that leaves us with Sam. Poor Sam Gamjee. A Hobbit of integrity, fearless loyalty, blind trust and what some would describe as an extra special "fondness" for Frodo. Now, I am not "fond" of Frodo in that other kind of way but he does have many admirable skills.

It has been a roller coaster ride filled with good days, bad days, numb days, sleepless nights and anxiety overload but the battle is far from over. One of the main reasons as to why I started this? Simple, I use it as a place to unload my mental feces and to help anyone that needs encouragement to push forward. At times, I'll play music critic, share funny pics that I have ran across or display some of my art work and poetry. My hope is that people will read this and learn more about O.C.D. and what it's victims are fighting each day. And maybe to make people more aware of it. It's much more common that the majority of people think. 

Thank You for stopping by.


Aly K. said...

Wow, I really like what you're doing here. It sounds like you've overcome a lot in your life, and I'm really looking forward to reading more of your blog. Very clever and descriptive title by the way. God bless.


ib said...

Again, you make me blush. Thank you and may God bless you also.

Ms Nana J said...

This is wonderful. Now I understand what you go through. Remember that being normal is not normal. You are unique. God made you special. Thank Him for your afflictions, otherwise how would you grow and learn and become the person you are. Your creativity comes from you illness and I am excited to see what you become in the future.

ib said...

Aw gee, thanks Nana. I try to remember that I was placed here, at this exact for a reason but sometimes it gets lost among the clutter and messiness of life. But, with God's grace we have been told that we will overcome. We will move mountains. Tell Pop I said hi.